Dennis' company

02 Dec 2020

Just like Hari said, I've only known Dennis for a few years, exactly May 2013. Whatever little spiritual journey [there is] i can say is closely linked with him; just like many of you.

I had close association with Dennis when he came to Tonawanda, Niagara Falls, to take care of his elderly Mother, towards the fag end of her life. That gave me some physical proximity, to go and meet with him, and walk around the Niagara Falls area on many occasions.

I must say that Bhagavan let his close devotees, as you know, enact some part of Bhagawan's own life. And I feel, the way that Dennis took care of his Mother, to the last minute, is exactly like how Bhagawan took care of his own Mother

It was not easy. Many days, Dennis didn't even have any sleep. He was getting up every hour to take care of his Mother. And that continued for over a year. But still he would let me come and join him for a few hours of walk. The association with nature, you know, he enjoyed.

I often felt I was stealing away his time, the little time he had for leisure, but he insisted that I come. And many of the walks, I did behind him; and I had a feeling that I am an attendant of Bhagawan and am walking behind Bhagawan.

One other thing I noticed was how effectively he managed his time. There were occasions where he and I had gotten into a kayak in the Niagara river, and soon he would set me up, then he would pick up the phone and talk to some other devotees like me, who had some questions to clear and things to clarify.

Another incident that comes to me, about his magnanimity, is when I moved from Toronto to Victoria, BC. Toronto is a place with around 30, 40 devotees. We used to have regular Satsangs and Victoria didn't have any. And I was in that kind of ?? when I got a call from a lady who was around 60+, had recently heard of Bhagawan and she got my number as a devotee. I was very happy to jump in, but she was going through a tough time, going through a divorce. To cut the story short, I was jumping in with that relation, I wanted to help as Bhagawan's devotee. There was a possibility that she may lose her home, and then she would be homeless; I was thinking about bringing her to my house but I was debating, I am new to the place, I have two little kids, my wife is pregnant with the third one. I didn't have the magnanimity but at the same time I had this desire. I discussed with Dennis as I usually do with many difficult decisions. He listened very carefully, he heard the pros & cons of it and finally he said "Saibish, if it ever comes to the point that you want to help her, and she needs the help, and you cannot do it, give my number, I will accommodate her in the NY Ashrama. He hasn't even seen that person, he hasn't even heard from her or talked to her. That was Dennis' magnanimity towards fellow devotees. To get us out of trouble, he is willing to take any amount of trouble. As Bhagawan willed, nothing was needed but that was an example that showed me how devoted Dennis is to his fellow devotees.

There are many instructions he gave to me and other devotees over time. On one occasion he said - Three things you have to concentrate. One is to continue the sadhana that you are doing. Secondly, you want to stay out of conflicts. Conflicts are unwanted thoughts; to decrease the unwanted thoughts you have to decrease the wanted thoughts that are desires, so you try to decrease your desires. And third the word he said is "perseverance'; and in my mind he is that word, personified. In whatever he does, in sadhana, in seva or whatnot, he is perseverance personified.

On another occasion, he said If you really have to realize, you just have to forget that personality of yours." Along with that he said, the mind is a trickster, it will gives trouble until the end; so it's best not to identify with the mind and its moods.

Finally, on Dec 2nd, the day he left, he left a message saying that "Bhagawan is with you all the way. He just wants us to persevere. (again that word came) then He gives everything."

On many occasions when I complained to Dennis, that I can't come to NY Ashrama, I can't go to Arunachala, I can't do this, I really want to go; then he would reassure me saying, "you know that mental contact is the best", that is the best contact (better) than even going or... doing something. Now he has left us in that position, whenever we want to have contact with him, the mental contact still remains. As many before me have said, "Wherever Dennis is, he is at Bhagawan's feet". Let us all try to merge in Bhagawan's feet to be with Dennis.

om namo bhagavate śrī ramaṇāya