Thinking is a vritti; being is not a vritti(thought). If we scrutinize “Who is thinking?” the thinking process will come to as standstill. Even when thoughts do not exist, do you have any doubt about your own existence as “I am”? Abiding in your own existence, which shines as “I am,” the source, from which all thoughts rise, is the state of Self-abidance. Abide thus.
He who thinks is the soul, or jiva. He who ex-ists as “I am” without any thought is God. If the thinker thinks with great love of that which merely exists as “I am,” this Selfward-turned thought will become the thought-free consciousness, which will destroy all thoughts. When the thinker thus dies along with his thoughts, the state of abidance, which then remains shining as “I am,” is the state of union with God or Siva-sayujya.
He who thinks, “I am so-and-so” is just a thought like all the other thoughts. But of all thoughts, this thought, “I am so-and-so” alone is the first. The soul who thinks, “I am so-and-so” is merely a reflection of our real Self. When we abide and shine only as that real Self, the thought “I am so-and-so” will not rise.
In dreamless sleep, this thought “I am so-and-so” does not at all exist. In the true state of Self-knowledge also, this thought “I am so-and-so” does not at all exist. But in the states of waking and dream, which rise in between the darkness of sleep and the pure light of Self-knowledge, the thought “I am this body” seems to appear and disappear. Therefore this limited “I” is not real; this “I” is only a thought.
The flourishing of this “I” is only the flourishing of misery. This “I” is that which is called the ego. This ego-”I” rises and flourishes only because of non-inquiry(avichara). If we inquire “Who is this I?”, and thereby vigilantly scrutinize only the feeling “I,” without attending to the adjunct “so-and-so” with which it is mixed, this adjunct will disappear, since it is devoid of any real existence.
The second and third persons, the known ob-jects, subsist only because of the first person, the knowing subject, who is the root. If the mind, which is ever wavering because of attending to second and third persons, turns and attends to the first per-son, who rises as “I am so-and-so,” the adjunct “so-and-so” will cease to exist and the real Self, which always exists as “I am,” will shine forth spontane-ously. That real Self, which is the indestructible base of the first person, alone is true knowledge (Jnana).
Thinking about second and third persons is foolishness, because when we attend to second and third persons the mental activities (mano-vrittis) rise up and multiply. But the act of attending to the first person is equal to committing suicide, because only by scrutinizing the first person will the ego die of its own accord.
Attending to any second or third person in-stead of turning and attending to this “I,” the first person feeling that is always experienced by every-one, is only ignorance (ajnana). If you ask, “The ego (the feeling ‘I am so-and-so’) is only a product of ignorance, so attending to the ego is also ignorance, is it not? Why then should we attend to this ‘I’?” Listen to what is said below:
Why is the ego destroyed when we scrutinize “What am I”? Because this “I”-thought (aham-vritti) is a reflected ray of Self-consciousness; and thus unlike other thoughts, which are devoid of consciousness, it is always directly connected with its source. Therefore, when our attention dives deeper and deeper within by following this reflected ray “I,” the length of this reflected ray “I” will diminish until finally it has shrunk to nothing. When the ego, the feeling “I am so-and-so,” thus disappears, the consciousness that will remain shining as “I am I” is the true knowledge of Self.
Do not do anything thinking, “It should be done only by me.” Nothing is done by you, because you are simply nothing. Knowing this truth from the beginning, if you refrain entirely from rising as “I am the doer,” all actions will happen of their own ac-cord, and your peace will ever remain undisturbed.
If we scrutinize “What is the reality that ever exists?” we will find that nothing in this world is real. Since Self alone is real, let us mentally renounce everything else and ever abide unshakably as that reality, which will remain shining alone as “I am.” This alone is the service enjoined upon us by Lord Ramana, who ever-abides as the eternal Self.
