Smt.Ammani Ammāl

English translation of 1989 interview^[1]

The following is a translation of the Tamiḷ Interviews^{[1] video starting at 22:46, in which J.Jayaraman interviews Smt.Ammani Ammāl}

JJ: What do you eat these days?
AA: Someone brings food, lunch in the afternoon and milk at night


JJ: Does your food come on time?
AA: Yes, it does. I have a helper

JJ: Ok
AA: She is coming at 4 PM and left saying she would bring boiled milk
    Bhagavan has made all arrangements through Ganesan and is taking care of me
    through him. Everyone takes care

JJ: Grandma, first, in your younger days how did you first hear about Bhagavan?
    <Pause> 
AA: I heard about Him and came here. I said Bhagavan should I stay there or here?
    Bhagavan responded, ’Don’t say stay to whoever is staying and don’t say go to
    whoever is leaving. Everything will happen according to one’s prarabdha’.
    I stood with my palms together and He looked at me, turned His head and said
    ‘Ok, go sit’. Since then, I have subdued my mind and just remained.

JJ: Aha! Doesn’t say stay or leave. Everything happens according to prarabdha
AA: I asked for Upadesa and He said ‘Oh ho, want Upadesa? Did you bring a big vessel
    to take it? Go sit’. I used to do kainkarya when ever I came here and then stayed
    here. I am 82 now. I came at 15.
    <Lady prompts in the background asking Ammani ammal to speak louder>

JJ: Say something about Bhagavan. Who is Bhagavan? What type of person is He?
    <Lady prompts again>
AA: Bhagavan is…
    <Lady in background>She doesn’t speak coherently. Grandma, grandma!


JJ: Tell us about His Look.  You would have seen Him in the hall many times.
    Didn’t He used to sit on the sofa?  
AA: what?

JJ: Bhagavan used to sit in the sofa, Yes?
AA: Yes, he used to sit.

JJ: How would He sit? Tell us. Nice and happy, right?
    [jam jam is a colloquial way of saying happy]
AA:(Laughs) He used to sit in a reclined position

JJ: <Laughs> Reclined? 
AA: Yes, there was no pillow. he would recline (slightly reclines to show how)
    Whoever close by will give him the walking stick. He would go for walk and
    then come back and recline. He would never lay down fully. Just reclined

JJ: Ok
AA: Repeats “Want Upadesa? Did you bring a big vessel to take it? Don’t say ‘stay’
    to whoever is staying and don’t say ‘go’ to whoever is leaving.
    Everything will happen according to one’s prarabdha’.

JJ: Bhagavan.

AA: <Speaks in a whisper>My father, Bhagavan, Ramana! Ramana! Arunachala!
    < Chokes with emotion> Was thinking about Bhagavan, how he used to talk and
    what he used to say and then He sends you here today. He is always in my thoughts.
    I thinking Bhagavan would say this and Bhagavan would say that. I am here like
    this… I am always thinking of Bhagavan

JJ: Yes? Tell what Bhagavan would say
AA: Krishnaswamy used to keep talking. Bhagavan would say “you keep talking along.
    What would people say?”

JJ: Yes, we met Krishnaswamy and spoke to him as well
AA: Krishnaswamy used to keep talking. Bhagavan would say “What Oyi, you keep
    talking along with me. What would people say?”. “you keep talking along with
    me. What would people say?”
    <Colloquial - she could mean ‘talking back’ or ‘talking too much’>
    Sivanandham and Madhava Swamy won’t talk but Krishnaswami would always talk back

JJ: Yes
AA: “you keep talking along. What would people say?”

JJ: <laughs>
AA: when I came here Madhava swami was here. Then there was Satyanandham,
    Malayalee. Krishnaswamy is the only one who would talk 

JJ: < Laughs>
    <Pause>
    Bhagavan would have been patient with all that. 
AA: Yes, He would say “you keep talking along. What would people say?”.
    That’s all He would say. Nothing else
     <Pause:>
AA: Don’t say ‘stay’ to whoever is staying and don’t say ‘go’ to whoever is
    leaving. Everything will happen according to one’s prarabhdha’. I was
    standing there and he said ‘go sit’
AA:<not clear> – it is growing high

JJ: What is? 
AA: The Ashram. I mean it is growing high…, every day

JJ: Yes, Yes, growing high
AA: Bhagavan’s Shakthi, every day.

JJ: Yes, Yes, < quotes Arunachala Navamani maalai (Garland of nine gems)> “.
    Ongum Arunamachalamena Ari” (know that He shines High as Arunachala! Another
    explanation is - He rises above all as Arunachala.)
    <Pause>
AA: He went along the forest(woods). There was a guy. he said he had a son who
    left him. Thorns pricked Bhagavan’s feet. <Incoherent> Bhagavan gave
    Upadesa. He said Take the ego(ahamkara) and keep it on the hearse (paadai).
    Remain still as Shiva. 

JJ: Keep the ahamkara on the hearse, remain as Shiva. He gave Upadesa. Said the guy
AA: My father, He left ….

JJ: Where did He leave? He is always here in your heart (Hṛdaya)
AA; Bhagavan would say this or that and my mind always revolves around Bhagavan,
    night and day. I was thinking about Him and lying down.
    <imitates Bhagavan> How come you came today? That lady would come and fight

JJ: who?
AA; To draw the Rangoli. On important occasions, I would come to draw the Rangoli.
    When Bhagavan is sleeping I would come to draw the Rangoli. Bhagavan will
    wake up at 2 AM to go to the toilet. 

JJ: Yes, He would go to the toilet at 2
AA: <imitates Bhagavan> She is painstakingly drawing. Don’t walk on it Oyi! 

JJ: Don’t walk on it Oyi!
AA: Yes. “How come you came? The other lady would come and fight” He would say

JJ: To them?
AA: If some else comes instead of me He would say ‘Why are you here? That lady
    (Ammai Ammal) would come and fight”

JJ: what kindness!
AA: “Why are you here? That lady (Ammai Ammal) would come and fight”. Never says
    ‘stay’ to whoever is staying and never says ‘go’ to whoever is leaving.
    Everything will happen according to one’s prarabhdha’. Everything is happening
    according to my prarabhdha. It is Bhagavan’s grace <unclear>. I would come
    running. I used to stay near Ishanya (Mutt)

JJ: You were at Ishanya?
AA: I was staying at a Mutt near Ishanya. <unclear>I used to make garlands and
    give to the Temple. <unclear>   I would sit in the Ashram and make garlands,
    give it to the temple and go to Ishanya Mutt. I used to live on a thinnai
    (Raised platform in front of a house) near Ishanya Mutt. They had built it.
    Chadwick is gone

JJ: Did you know Chadwick?
AA: Yes, Chadwick came after me. He would sit along the window side.

JJ: Yes
AA: along the window with the thing tied to…

JJ: Yes, he would wear a belt and sit
AA: Yes, along the window with a belt near Bhagavan. In the corner <unclear>.
    Everything is here. Did not go <unclear>

JJ: Yes
AA: Say its Him, its Him and stay as Shiva 
    [ Avane (Him) rhymes with Shivane (Shiva).
      Means, accept it is all Him and remain still ]

JJ: Its Him, its Him?
AA: Say its Him, its Him and stay as Shiva 
    <Pause>

JJ: He would say Accept it is all Him and remain still?
AA: Yes.

JJ: it is all His doing… 
AA: <repeats> Say it’s all Him and remain as Shiva. Instead of saying Him,
    say Shiva…

JJ: ok, instead of saying Him, say Shiva.ok
AA: What kindness, what heart!
    When He passes-by He would glace around

JJ: Yes? Glance inside the hall?
AA: When he goes after food or again at 3 PM, he would look around at everything.
    He would wipe his feet and sit reclined saying ‘appaadaa!’

JJ: He would say ‘appaadaa’ and sit!
AA: Whoever is with him would take the walking stick.i
    He would wipe his feet and recline saying ‘appaadaa’
    What kindness! Haven’t forgotten anything. It is all in my thoughts.
    I always think of Him. Who would make these arrangements in the ashram?
    Ganesan said he would come. He is not in town

JJ: He is in town, I will tell him
AA: He was not here. He was out for three months. 

JJ: Now he is here
AA: They said he came Yesterday

JJ: Ok grandma, lie down 
AA :<unclear>

JJ: cold, right?
AA: Yes, it is cold.

JJ: did Bhagavan used to cover himself with a shawl during cold days?
AA: They will ring the bell now

JJ: Yes, they will. It is 11:15
    <screen goes dark>