from: Dennis Hartel to: B date: Sat, 12 Jan 2019 10:46:15 -0500 subj: Hurt Dear B, I am very sorry you feel hurt by the exchange we had the other morning. I had no intention of hurting you. All these nearly fifty years Bhagavan has kept me in His Ashram he has been my one yardstick and polestar. Was there ever anyone like him who lead a more perfect outwardly and inwardly life? I have always tried to maintain some iota of His simplicity and frugal habits in the Ashram, since it is His Ashram. What I point out to you is only things relating to this. And it is not you as an individual that I make these comments to. It is that actions themselves I am speaking to. For instance, when I closed the doors when you were cooking, I am sure you were not aware of how that kitchen activity resonates through to the living room during the morning's reading. So I simply closed the doors. It was nothing about you personally. And I am not singling you out. I make the same comments to other friends when I see similar deviations. Only you seem to take them more personally, and that I cannot help. The whole purpose of the Ashram is to lose our identity with our body, and that includes the mind and ego. I really want that for everyone who comes to the Ashram. We are not who we think we are -- definitely. And I never think the Ashram is my Ashram: it is the devotees Ashram. We, since we live here, are only their servants. I rarely interfere with what they do in the Ashram, because they are the Master's children and I only work for them, or serve them. Unless someone willingly tries to disturb the peace and harmony at the Ashram, I will keep quiet. The fewer rules and restrictions the better. I have found the deeper I plunge into the thought-free state, the clearer everything becomes. So I give importance to meditation. The result is that we realize that we are not an individual, not an ego and not the doer. You used the word 'hate' in your note. Really, I don't know what that word means. I can't even image it. I was never prompted to act or speak prompted by it. You should believe me on this point, if nothing else. My only prayer is that you find peace and fulfillment within yourself, not from outer experiences or relationship. That is really the only way to happiness. Yours in Sri Bhagavan, Dennis