from: Dennis
date: December 3, 2019 at 4:31:57 AM EST

My Dear Friends in Sri Bhagavan,

At the age of 18 I decided that I had to find out what the meaning and purpose of
life was. I saw no solution in my home, so I wrote a note to my mother, borrowed
20 dollars, and left.

This journey lasted for about four years, during which time I traveled the world
over and had many experiences which brought me to the conclusion that the only
meaningful purpose and goal of life was to realize God, or Self-realization.

My latent samskaras must have played a part to rediscover the teachings that directly
resonated with my own experience and understanding. Then I was guided to the Sadguru
who perfectly demonstrated them – Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi.  The same year I
arrived at His Ashram in New York and dedicated my life to service and
the practice of His teachings.

Last summer in the Nova Scotia Ashram a sudden, altogether contrary vision took
possession of me and would not let go, even to this day. I could not resist it,
nor did I feel that I should, and ultimately surrendered to it. This is what it is:

After 48 years of living in His abode, serving Him through His devotees, I became
possessed, so to speak, with a single aspiration. I felt Bhagavan telling me:
“Now you need only to serve Me by remembering Me and abiding in Me, the Self.
Hence, you need not continue to serve Me physically, but serve me by remembering
Me and abiding in Me.”

In addition to this, I experienced a intense yearning to simplify my life, to depend
on Him alone for all things, to take complete refuge in Him and leave it to Him
to provide me with whatever is required to fulfill this aspiration, as enunciated
by Sri Krishna in the Bhagavad Gita:

To those who always think of Me and engage in exclusive devotion to Me, to them
whose minds are always absorbed in Me, I provide what they lack and preserve
what they already possess. – Chap 9, verse 22.

Therefore, I am writing today -- not only to you, the officers of Arunachala Ashrama
USA and Canada, but to all my friends and well-wishers – to inform you that what
happened when I was 18 years old is now repeating itself. By the time you read this
note I have already left the Ashrama for a distant place to fulfill this yearning
within me. Believe me, I am no less surprised than you about what you are now reading.

After this new aspiration took hold of me in Nova Scotia and I realized that I must
fulfill it, I thought briefly about what direction the Ashram would take in my absence.
The next day this concern was completely erased upon rereading what Sri Kunju Swami
told Evelyn concerning Bhagavan’s Ashramas on January 19, 1983, recorded in her diary.

Not only did I have no doubts after reading that, I fully believe, though physically
absent, I will now extend a greater service to the Ashram than ever before.
You may not understand this, but I believe in time you will arrive at the same
conclusion.

I ask that you please do not make any efforts to locate my whereabouts. I have put
all my faith in Bhagavan’s guiding presence and all of you should do the same and
celebrate with me this new direction in my life. Does not the Lord of the Universe
sustain the trees of the forest, the birds in the sky, the fish in the sea. Will
He ever forsake me? How is it possible. And how wonderful it is to want nothing from
the world but the opportunity to abandon all hopes, all fears and desires and rest in Him.

Also, do not be too alarmed at this turn of events. Who knows, I may be back in two
months, or two years, or at some point in time you will come to learn that my journey
on earth has come to end. It is in His hands alone, Is it not?
Isn’t it the same for all of us?

Lastly, I wish to express my heartfelt gratitude to all my friends and well-wishers,
devotees of the Master, who have unstintingly provided me with their love, support
and kindnesses over many decades. How fortunate I have been in this life to know
all of you, to live and serve in His abode and benefit from your sincere
devotion and dedication.

I am attaching a letter that I gave to two aspirants this year who had expressed
a desire to live in the Ashram. It may be useful.

Ever yours in Sri Ramana Bhagavan,

Dennis
 
-----
the attached letter
-----

I understand that you wish to live in the Ashram. Yes, that is possible. But
since you are new to the Ashram, I thought that I should write to you and provide
a little more insight into what it means to live in Sri Ramana Maharshi’s Ashram. It
took me some decades to really understand it myself.

First of all, I consider it a privilege to have had the independence and
freedom to pursue an ideal that requires full dedication and devotion. And to find a
place and a Guru who fully embodies the ideal can only materialized by His grace.

I believe Sri Ramana Maharshi’s Ashram is best suited to those who
intensely yearn to realize their true nature, the one eternal Self. And that yearning
is best nourished by a disciplined life dedicated to that one ideal. That is why I
consider the daily meditations and chanting in the shrine to be the prime activity of
Ashram life. It is only by the regular practice of meditation over a sustained period
does the mind lose its hold on us and the ego begins to thin out, preparing us to be
absorbed into the Source of our being. So, therefore, I consider it to be the main
work done by the Ashram residents, that is, the steady practice of meditation at the
fixed times - at other times too - until it becomes natural. After all, this is the way
taught by Bhagavan and the means to experience the perfect happiness of the Self.

The next duty of an Ashramite is to serve the devotees and guests. Many of us 
have had a personal awakening by the grace of Sri Ramana Maharshi and accept him
as our Guru, though he is not now embodied. He always said he was not the body 
during his lifetime and that his influence, grace and guidance will continue with
or without a physical body. And many testify that it does till this day, and that is
why a greater number of seekers are finding their way to Him and taking to His teachings.

It is an ancient tradition in India to serve the Guru for 12 years. Even though the
Maharshi is not presently in a body to serve, he has given us a way to fulfill this
tradition: “If you serve my devotees you are serving me,” he said. That is what we
do here. And the best way to do this is to assume the attitude of a servant. I had
lived in an Indian home of a friend for some months in India who had several
servants in his house. From observing them I came to have a clearer understanding
of a servant’s life.

First of all, he or she knows full well that nothing in the household belongs
to them; it belongs to the master of the house and his children. (In our case,
Bhagavan is the master, and the devotees and seekers are his children)
Secondly, the servant is attentive to the needs of the master’s family, even
anticipates them, without in any way making them feel obliged or indebted. The
servant doesn’t impose rules or make request from any in the master’s family to
do his or her assigned work. Also, the servants ensure that the master’s quarters
are always clean and in order.

In our case, all this is done in service to Bhagavan with the sole idea or
feeling that He alone is the doer and we are only His instruments. If such service is
not done with the sole objective of eliminating the ego, the ego will take
possession of the doership, pride will result, and all will be lost. One needs to be
vigilant at all times in this respect until the feeling of doership is erased
completely.

Of course, no two people are alike or can act alike. There will always be
differences. But the ultimate goal is the same for us all, and that single goal should
ever be in our awareness, standing before us, guiding us.

A Mother Superior of the convent once told a young nun:
   “My child, if want to be holy and always happy, remember this – never let
   anyone know who pleases or displeases you, whom you find agreeable or
   disagreeable, what you like or dislike.”

I find that this simple instruction is most appropriate for anyone who wishes
to live in the Ashram, dedicated to the life and teachings of Sri Ramana Maharshi.
I believe if one wholeheartedly practices this, the feeling of “otherness” will vanish forever.
If you have any questions, please feel free to write or call. I should be in
Nova Scotia for most of the summer months.

Yours in Sri Bhagavan,
Dennis


----------------
from: Anil and Vijaya Sharma 
  to: Dennis Hartel 
date: Tue, Dec 3, 2019 at 4:57 AM
subj: Re: REFUGE

Thank you Dennis.
Thank you Dennis.
Thank you Dennis.

In Sri Bhagavan
Anil and Vijaya


----------------
from: Anil and Vijaya Sharma 
  to: Dennis Hartel 
  cc: E,D,K,P,G,S,P,A
date: Tue, Dec 3, 2019 at 5:05 AM
subj: Re: REFUGE


These are tears of joy Dennis.Thank you, thank you, thank you.You have guided us all
to Bhagavan, and will you will continue to do so.We are all in your debt.

In Him,
Anil and Vijaya


---------------
from: Aparna
  to: Dennis Hartel 
date: Tue, Dec 3, 2019 at 5:32 AM
subj: Re: REFUGE

Heart fills and tears flow....Your life, words and actions have always been a guiding
light in many in my life and many of mine in moving closer to living in Bhagavan’s way.
And it shall always be.

In eternal gratitude for the blessing of you, love and prayers.
Aparna 


---------------
from: Swami
  to: Anil and Vijaya, Dennis
 cc: E,D,K,P,G,S,P,A
date: Tue, Dec 3, 2019 at 5:32 AM
subj: Re: REFUGE

Namaskar Dennis

What a coincidence that just last night, the last thing I read before going to sleep
was the following extract from Evelyn’s diary that appeared a few issues of the
Maharshi newsletter before the one u quote below

December 9, 1982, afternoon: Kunju Swami and I sat for a talk on the porch of a new
guest house on the west side of the Ashrama. He asked me what practice I do and
I described our routine in the New York City Ashrama and my present employment.
He then said, 'Keep your mind calm at the feet of Bhagavan. Take no thought about
the Ashrama (i.e. Arunachala Ashrama) and have no concern for its growth. If Sri
Bhagavan wills, it will grow. You need not worry about it. The body is itself an
ashrama - for that ashrama only a small hut is necessary." So saying, he took my leave.

And now u are saying almost the exact same thing and leaving all of us. For the
past few years, I have been mentally berating myself for not taking advantage of
your presence and coming to the Ashrama more frequently. Now, I feel orphaned,
not being fully established in Bhagavan always. Atleast, the last meal I had with
you was a thanksgiving meal. While it may all be Bhagavan’s doing, I can never
fully thank you for all that u have shown me these past two decades, 

I am sure that Bhagavan will fulfill this aspiration that you say took a hold of
you in Nova Scotia. I also pray that he will give all of us the blessing of
seeing you in the body again.

Swami


---------------
from: Evelyn
  to: Swami
date: Tue, Dec 3, 2019 at 7:22 AM
subj: Re: REFUGE

Can any of us even begin to describe what your life and friendship have meant to us,
dear Dennis — your discipline in practice and your unwavering dedication to the
practice of Sri Bhagavan’s teachings, ever present for all with words of encouragement
or insight whenever needed.  May Sri Bhagavan bless your noble calling with the
reward you so ardently seek! I too am in tears. You would think that by now I 
would have imbibed the words of Kunju Swami more deeply!


---------------
from: Krishnan T
  to: Dennis
date: Tue, Dec 3, 2019 at 7:29 AM
subj: Re: REFUGE

Om Namo Bhagavate Sri Ramayana

Dear Dennis: Thank you kindly for sharing your desire to follow the guidance of
Sadguru to abandon all fears anddesires and rest in Him. I echo other devotees’
expression: ‘tears of joy’and feeling of being ‘orphaned’. But then, ‘Where can
you go – you are here!’

In Sri Bhagavan
Krishnan     


---------------
from: Geeta B.
  to: Dennis
date: Tue, Dec 3, 2019 at 8:12 AM
subj: Re: REFUGE

Namaskar to the One who follows 
The CALL of our Sadguru Arunachala.
Pranam, if you ever read this email.


---------------
from: Arpan
  to: dineshdayalu
date: Tue, Dec 3, 2019 at 9:08 AM
subj: my heartiest respect and rememberance

Namaskar Dennis,

You must be far away by this time and not sure if you will even read this but
I am hoping you will. Your presence is heartfelt here in his abode.

You know, I cried all through the mediation yesterday. Somehow, HE creeped in a
sense in me that you weren't coming back. I think I had known this for a while.
Yesterday, I wanted to run out to stop you as tears rolled down but he made me sit,
I felt immovable...as though, he was asking me to do my work and I sat for a
very very long time after. 

Thank you so much for all your guidance and presence. I have no doubt it will
continue as his grace pours down even more and immeasurably every single day.
I have had all kinds of experiences here, visions and vivid dreams and you appearing
in my mediation and saying you will show me Ramana but we need to go beyond
this right? :)

There were so many things I wanted to share and learn but I never wanted to impose
and I knew he was guiding me through you, in every word and action of yours. and
at time like this, I truly felt like his most beloved child. thank you so much
for every word and action and kindness and understanding you bestowed on me.

I had a dream two weeks ago. The dream was that: we were in Nova Scotia and you
decided to leave this body and went into a room. While devotees waited out, I start
to meditate and a sudden realization dawns in me that I hadn't learnt everything
from you yet and a panic sets in... Just then I rushed in to check in on you and
you seem to have left the body. I regretted it very much but continued my meditation..
and then after sometime, a boy came running out saying he woke you up... and there
you came out of the room looking your lively self..... I don't know how to interpret
this dream but all I know is that your presence will be forever in my heart
and in this ashram ever more so.

I hope I can walk in your footsteps and may my practice be as sincere and deep
rooted as yours.

In him alway, My gratitude and heartfelt joyous remembrance of you.
 
Arpan


----------------
from: Swami
date: Tue, Dec 3, 2019 at 9:32 AM
.....
You, Margo and others were the ones present when Dennis left the Ashrama for
sometime in the early days. Maybe we can hear from you about it.


---------------
from: Evelyn
date: Dec 3, 2019, 9:44 AM

Yes, to be together in the presence of Bhagavan in His Ashram must bring solace 
and peace....  I will be at Sri Ramanaachalam by mid-afternoon, God-willing. ❤️🙏❤️



---------------
from: Evelyn
  to: Swami
date: Tue, Dec 3, 2019 at 9:46 AM
subj: Re: REFUGE

We should make a point of reading out loud the letter he attached and then, most
importantly, continue to strive moment by moment to live out the injunctions! 


---------------
from: Sunita P
  to: Dennis Hartel
date: Tue, Dec 3, 2019 at 12:02 PM
subj: Re: REFUGE

Namaskar Dennis,

I am shocked and moved to tears. I was looking forward to seeing you for Jayanti so
much. I hope I will see you again. Please look after yourself. You always have a
home with us here in California. I know Bhagavan will take care of you wherever
you are. Meeting you has been the greatest privilege and blessing of my life.
I am ever grateful. 

Regards, love and thanks,

Sunita


---------------
from: Jim Hartel
  to: Dennis Hartel 
date: Tue, Dec 3, 2019 at 12:22 PM
subj: RE: REFUGE

Den,
This is wonderful news. 
Jim


----------------
from: Darlene
  to: Dennis
date: Dec 3, 2019, 2:18 PM

Namaskar Dennis,

I have been waiting all day to respond to your note, have recited Mother's Names
and have tried not to read other devotees responses yet. I thought my feelings
would change with a bit of time, but they have not. I am still supremely angry with
you and disappointed. You abandoned us. One of the beauties of Bhagavan's teachings
is that they can be practiced anywhere, anytime. And I know you have seen His
Presence working in all of our lives without fail, right where we are. 

You are needed in Nova Scotia. You are the one who can smooth all the rough edges
of the egos who come to live together for some time (mine included). You are the
one who keeps things 'light' so that we can laugh at our pettiness. You are the
constant when it comes to  setting aside time for regular practice. You are the
one devotees come to visit.  But more than these things, we could always count
on you for insights and understanding. I feel that I have lost, my friend.

I do believe that Bhagavan will look after His Ashrama in Nova Scotia and New York.
And they will continue to thrive or not, as He wishes. They are His and
we are His Children.

Dennis, I do understand that you are going towards the Ideal and not necessarily
leaving us behind. There is a difference, but my heart is very sad.

Your supremely angry Friend,
Darlene


----------------
from: Evelyn
  to: Darlene Delisi Karamanos 
date: Tue, Dec 3, 2019 at 5:10 PM
subj: Re: REFUGE

Dear Friends,

Reporting in from the serene silence and peace of Sri Ramanaachalam in Ogdensburg.
All day I have been in a turmoil of sadness, but now—sitting before Bhagavan and
looking into His eyes—I feel I can hear Him echoing the consoling words of Jesus:
”Let not your heart be troubled.  Believe in God; believe also in Me.”  HE (our
Bhagavan) is the Doer.  It is His living peace and presence that have animated
Dennis and inspired us through him.  Let us turn moment by moment to the light
of HIS love and peace, dear friends!  He lives!

And, Dennis has told us to be of good cheer and that he might return within a
couple of months.  

Our beloved Sri Ramana is the Doer of all.

Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi Ki Jai!
Evelyn 


---------- Forwarded message ---------
from: 
  to: Evelyn Saphier 
date: Tue, Dec 3, 2019 at 6:13 PM
subj: Re: REFUGE

Dear fellow Devotees,

While I have been vacillating between grief, numbness and celebration of the divine
all day today, I receive this text from my young daughter, Varsha, who has been
fortunate to be around Dennis from her first year of life.

“I know that it may not be my place to say this, but do you think
Dennis would’ve decided to leave at this time had he not felt that all the lessons
he had to give were heard? I think Dennis was ready to leave for a really long time,
but waited out of respect for all of us who really leaned on him. Granted I think
we all expected a formal goodbye with hugs and stories, but that really isn’t Dennis. 

Today I had to witness my attending tell a family that their 31y/o son was brain-dead
and that his organs would be harvested tonight for donation. He was alive and well
3 days prior. 

Unexpected things happen, but we cant let them throw us so back that all the process
that we have made becomes null and void. I think you don’t need to grieve for not
having the physical presence of “Dennis,” but think  how many times have we been
to the ashram and held sathsung with out him there and still felt him? 

Forgive my pedantic posturing, but I feel like he basically took all of our spiritual
training wheels off today. Mom, you are way past that first rung, its just that
each rung feels like the second.

Right now I feel selfishly sad that he isnt going to be physically in the ashram,
but the best thing I can do for myself and for him Is to breathe in, out, and let
it go. It is not my place to emotionally attach someones spirit when they long
to be free.”

In Bhagavan,
Aparna 


---------- Forwarded message ---------
from: Sunita Parasuraman 
  to: Dennis, Darlene
date: Tue, Dec 3, 2019 at 6:21 PM
subj: Re: REFUGE

 I consider it my greatest good fortune in this life to come to know Dennis and to be
inspired by him. I had read books on Bhagavan before I met Dennis but it is only after
I met him at the Jayanti function here in California in 2005, that my devotion to
Bhagavan grew deeper. Swami had invited him to join us for Jayanti that year at the
Jain temple. Swami, I am ever-grateful to you for making that connection possible.
Ever since, Dennis has had a great positive impact on me, my husband Karthik and
our son, Niranjan.

I feel we will all see him again. In the meantime, this note will serve as a call
to action for all of us, to not take our time on this earth for granted and to
do justice to our Guru by practicing His teachings.

Thank you all for sharing your heart-felt notes. Swami, thank you for the call this
afternoon - I feel much better after talking to you.

If there is anyway I can help you all in restoring order at the Ashram, please let
me know. I would love to do what I can.

Regards,
Sunita


---------------
from: Darlene
  to: Aparna
date: Wed, Dec 4, 2019 at 4:34 AM
subj: Re: REFUGE

Aparna,What beautiful,wise words from your daughter Varsha Thank you for sharing
them with us. And it most certainly is her place to give us her thoughts and
feelings about Dennis.

In Bhagavan's Grace,
Darlene


---------------
from: Darlene Delisi Karamanos 
  to: Aparna
date: Wed, Dec 4, 2019 at 4:34 AM
subj: Re: REFUGE

Aparna,
What beautiful, wise words from your daughter Varsha Thank you for sharing them with
us. And it most certainly is her place to give us her thoughts and feelings about Dennis.

In Bhagavan's Grace,
Darlene


---------- Forwarded message ---------
from: Evelyn
  to: Darlenedate: Wed, Dec 4, 2019 at 7:42 AM
subj: Re: REFUGE

Nimmi’s poem, tribute to Dennis

   Dennis

   A young lad of eighteen
   War worn, caught in between
   Seeking answers for questions umpteen
   Started blazing the trail to dive within

   Years of searching seemed like a blur
   The Grace of the Guru drenched him for sure

   A purpose soon found, his body, an able tool
   Many scattered pieces then, fell in place like a rule 

   An oasis grew and blossomed in place
   Right in the heart of a commercial maze

   Chanting, reading, singing and meditating
   It’s  a boisterous happy family gathering 

   Whispering voices, loud at times
   Kindle a silence, still and sublime

   Then one day...

   A quiet quest tugged at his chest
   ‘Your work here is done, you have given it your best..’ 

   ‘Get up and go... put the Master’s word to test’
   Don’t linger around, lest your gang will protest

   God speed my friend, may you fulfill your quest
   You have left a void... a little empty nest!