Crumbs from His Table

by

Ramanananda Swarnagiri

Sri Ramanasramam
Tiruvannamalai
7th edition, 2006

Dedication to Sri Ramana

O Thou Spiritual Guide of Guides! O Thou Teacher of Teachers! O Thou Sankara Incarnate! O Thou Rama, Krishna Incarnate! Thou who dost dispel the cloud of ignorance — nay, the arch-destroyer of the illusion, the dehatma buddhi — by mere sight; who dost manifest Thyself in the form of Sri Sadguru to Thy humble devotee, be pleased to accept this humble dedication to Thy Holy Feet, and lead me, O Thou Shining Light, on to my goal and make me one with Thee.

Contents

  Dedication .................................................... iii
  Publisher's Note to the Third Edition .........................   v
  Preface ....................................................... vii

   (1) Visit To Sri Ramanasramam ................................   1
   (2) Nectar Drops .............................................   4
   (3) His Messenger ............................................   7
   (4) Some Experiences And Consecration ........................   9
   (5) Living With The Master ...................................  13
   (6) Earnestness or Faith .....................................  16
   (7) Control Of Mind ..........................................  18
   (8) Control Of Mind Versus Destruction Of Mind ...............  21
   (9) Self-realization .........................................  26
  (10) Obstacles And Hatha Yoga .................................  33
  (11) Dream, Sleep And Samadhi .................................  38
  (12) Resignation And Renunciation .............................  42
  (13) Some Surprising Incidents ................................  44
  (14) The Third Visit ..........................................  46
  (15) Conclusion ...............................................  49
  Footnotes
  

Preface

In December, 1936, I issued a small pamphlet containing some of the conversations I had had with Sri Ramana Bhagavan at Tiruvannamalai, as well as some which some of my friends had with Him in my presence. These are His spiritual teachings that I was able to pick up as they fell from His sacred lips during the few months I stayed at Sri Ramana Ashram in 1935. That the instructions reported were not only those imparted to me but also those conveyed to other enquirers explains to some extent the apparent inconsistency and perhaps illogical sequence in the questions and answers, and in some cases repetitions also. I have attempted in this book to weave them as much as I can into some order, but I am afraid a certain amount of mix-up and inconsistency (either in this book itself or other published or reported versions of Sri Bhagavan’s teachings) is unavoidable, due to various reasons, which are: firstly, the enquirers belong to different schools of thought and varying stages of practice and progress, and the answers depend on the nature of their enquiry; secondly, Sri Bhagavan’s attitude of indifference to assertions and affirmations; and above all, thirdly, the capacity of the enquirers to obtain a correct record of His answers and their subsequent ability to give good expression to them.

Though Sri Bhagavan has repeatedly said in His authenticated publications and in reply to enquirers that the method of “Enquiry” i.e., “Who am I?” is the easiest and the most direct path leading to salvation, He has also nowhere and at no time deprecated other methods and paths — Karma Yoga, Bhakti Yoga, Ashtanga Yoga and so on — as will be seen from his reply to a query under the heading “Self-realization”.

Whether or not one were intent upon the quest of the Self or Truth or God, Sri Bhagavan’s directions to me, to enquire within, as to “Who I am”, appeared to be the most rationalistic and the first thing that I should do and know, rather than run after places of pilgrimage, which I otherwise contemplated, especially with the gift of free travel by rail that He has so kindly placed at my convenience. Remarking about a short trip to Tirupati Hills in August, 1936, which I had to take on account of compulsion from a brother of mine, Sri Bhagavan said I might do it, because I could afford it. The obvious meaning of the remark being, that these visits were unwarranted and that I need not do so, in spite of the availability of concession of free travel.

The uniqueness of His teaching consists in the fact of his insistence on the enquiry method from the very beginning, instead of waiting till eternity for the purification of body, mind and intellect. The enquiry straightaway gives one that mental quiet, as it were in a trice, which one does not get till after some years of Japa. Even such practitioners that know the meaning of ‘Gayatri’, the highest mantra, and repeat it a crore of times, admit this. If, on the other hand, one repeated just once the Gayatri Mantra with meaning and bhava instead of repeating “I will meditate thus, I will meditate thus,” but remained still, confirmed in the meaning of the mantra, namely: “The Power which induces one’s intellect in the various pursuits of life is the same as that in the Sun, which, by its illumination, removes the darkness of this earth and is the cause of the existence and growth of all living beings on earth,” he would soon find himself as the light itself, bereft of body and form, perfectly still and thoughtless — a pleasurable experience indeed is this. What one would attain in this manner is also attained by merely probing the source of thought, the “I” thought, being the first thought, by asking “Who am I?” and waiting ‘still’ for an answer — carefully guarding against obtrusion of the sneaky intruder (the thought monkey). Sri Bhagavan’s teaching can be practised in addition to, and without detriment to, other practices, and that from the very beginning, with immense and incalculable advantage.

I issued, on the first occasion, a brief report containing the main instructions only and not the illustrative stories. I hoped that the taste of a few ‘crumbs’ would alone be sufficient to induce the readers to seek the bread of life itself at His hands, and serve my ambition to create such an interest in Him and His teachings. Since the issue of that leaflet, however, I have been urged by some of my friends and others to issue a more detailed account of my experiences, and especially more of Sri Bhagavan’s teachings. I am therefore issuing this now to satisfy their very sincere demand and to enable others, who have not had the opportunity of reading the first edition of the book, to do so now.

Nectar Drops

Sri Bhagavan: “Who are you?”

D: I am Narayanaswami.

B: Is it the body, the mouth or the hands that represent the “I” you are talking about?

D: The mouth, the tongue, the body, all together constitute the “I.”

B: (Pointing to the disciple) Whose body is this?

D: My body.

B: So, you are different from the body? You are the possessor and the body is your possession?

D: I now realize I am different from my body, but I cannot however clearly see the line of demarcation between my body and my “Self.” I cannot see Who I am.

B: Go and put the question to your “Self” and you will know who you are.

D: To whom is the question to be put and how?

B: Put the question to your “Self,” trace the source from which the “I” springs and the answer will come to you. The writer felt that, contrary to what Mr. Narayana Iyer and others said, namely that Sri Ramana Bhagavan was not in the habit of giving upadesa (spiritual instruction and guidance), He had actually given him something to work on. He was satisfied with this lesson and, having purchased a copy of His Life and Teaching (in Tamil), read it that very night at the ashram itself. The more he read it the more he was attracted to Sri Bhagavan, and His example and teachings appealed to him more than any that he had heard of.

The next day, in company with some of his friends and a close relation, he visited a scholar learned in Sanskrit and Tamil, who was for some time a Sanskrit teacher in one of the Local Board High Schools and who was living close to most of the places where Bhagavan was reported to have spent his early life. When the writer came to a place where Bhagavan was said to have sat in the evenings, he took a small quantity of the earth from it and smeared it on his forehead (as is usual with Hindus when they revere a person) and dropped a bit of it into his mouth. He felt “the very ground on which such a holy person sat was sacred, His footprints were worth all the spheres that rolled in the heavens.” His relation immediately flew into a rage and protested against his deifying Sri Ramana, who, according to him, (as belonging to the orthodox school of philosophers) had contravened the injunctions of Manu (The Hindu Lawgiver) by performing the last rites of His mother. This is contrary to the established rule that an ascetic should have no more connection with his parents. Though not educated enough to be able to refute his arguments from ancient lore, the writer remonstrated with him that Sri Ramana was another Manu in the present day with all the authority to lay down codes for human conduct, but, in concentrating mainly on spiritual guidance, He was on a very much higher plane than Manu. Unfortunately, however, he added a curse to the protest, saying that his relative would soon reap the result of his ignorant derogation of the Lord. Within less than ten minutes, on coming down to the plain, his relative tripped over quite a small stone and fell headlong on the ground. The writer was walking a few paces ahead and had turned the corner of a street, when he was recalled by a friend, to find that his relative had not only sustained an injury, but was lying unconscious in a hut, with one of his legs swollen from the fall. He ran to the spot, engaged a horse-cart and took him to the railway station, after rendering what first aid he could by dashing cold water on his face and giving him some water to drink etc., till he regained consciousness. The writer would like to leave his readers to draw their own conclusion on the connection between his curse and the immediate accident, inexplicable as it is to him even now.

The writer does not like miracle-mongering, nor does Sri Bhagavan claim any supernatural powers for himself, but there is no limit to the number of persons who have attributed such things to Him.

The writer visited Sri Ramana again on 27th May and 20th October the same year, staying for only two hours on the former date and for a day on the latter. Sri Niranjanananda Swami, the secular head of Sri Ramanasramam, casually remarked to him that if he desired to obtain the full benefit of Sri Ramana’s Grace he had better make up his mind to stay in the ashram for a minimum of five days. He could neither grasp the real import of this suggestion nor was he very enthusiastic about such a stay then. He continued, however, to practise the “Who am I?” enquiry from the date he first saw Sri Ramana.

Living with the Master

In the early hours of 14th September, 1935, at 4 a.m., the writer was not able to obtain the usual internal quiet. He therefore mentally remonstrated with Sri Bhagavan that He had not showered His grace on him and that was why he was not able to consistently maintain his equanimity of mind. At that moment, however, he heard the still small voice within saying, “if you feel disappointed you had better come back to me.” He did not make up his mind what to do, but left home with a determination not to return, until he had some solace from some Swami and could get back good concentration. It struck him then that it might be possible to get something from Sri Ramananda who was so near his home and about whom Sri Shankaracharya had spoken so highly. He therefore left for that place the same evening. Having missed the Swami that night, he stayed with a friend and in the morning he had a bath in the river Cauvery. Soon after, when he sat for meditation on its bank, he not only had good meditation, but it lasted longer than usual. At about 11 a.m. he saw the Swami, who asked him, not what he had read, but what his experiences and difficulties were. When the writer narrated these the Swami remarked that it appeared to him that the writer had obtained manolaya^[3] and should go in search of a Sad-Guru. He desired him to concentrate on Gayatri Japa. The writer felt very happy in his presence and enjoyed internal quiet. When the writer asked him informally why, contrary to what he had stated in his book The Hindu Ideal, he had tolerated the writer (a modernised Brahmin, with short hair and lacking Sanskrit knowledge and orthodox Brahmanical daily observances), he said that he had only written his book to show the way to Self-realization, but that it did not mean that a person who had reached the stage the writer had, obviously due to past actions (karmas), should begin his education anew. His instructions were very illuminating and illustrative.

The writer returned home on Sunday night with the feeling that he would get some visible confirmation of the Maharshi’s call, and sure enough on reaching his office on Monday he had a letter dated 14-9-1935 (the very date on which he had all the trouble and the response from within) from one of Bhagavan’s long-standing disciples, which contained amongst other things, the following sentence:

By Bhagavan’s grace, I hope you will make it convenient to come here at once, at the earliest opportunity, and earn His blessings in person.

This he considered a confirmation of the message from within, and he therefore took leave for a couple of months from his employer, in the hope that if, within this period, there was any tangible evidence of further progress he would completely break the ties of family, give up his job and devote himself entirely to Self-realization. His mother, who was then 70 years of age, wept at the prospect of his leaving home, a step which appeared to her like desertion. He then prayed to Sri Ramana to enable him to console her, and a Tamil couplet came to his mind, the meaning of which is that just as it is impossible to put a chicken back into the shell of an egg out of which it has hatched, so also a soul that has come out of its shell of ignorance, can no more fall back into it. With the destruction of ignorance, with the destruction of the illusion that the body is the Self, the soul can never come back to birth and death.

Control of Mind

मन एव मनुष्यानां कारणं बन्धमोक्ष योह्
mana ēva manuṣyānāṁ kāraṇaṁ bandhamōkṣa yōh

Mind alone is the cause of one’s bondage and freedom

D: I have not yet learnt to control my mind so I intend to seek ekantavasam (life in solitude) in North India and want Sri Bhagavan’s grace.

B: You have come all the way to Tiruvannamalai for ekantavasam, and that in the immediate presence and vicinity of Ramana Bhagavan, yet you do not appear to have obtained that mental quiet; you now want to go elsewhere and from there you will desire to go to some other place. At this rate there will be no end to your travels. You do not realize that it is your mind that drives you in this manner. Control that first and you will be happy wherever you are. I do not know if you have read Swami Vivekananda’s lectures. It is my impression that he has somewhere told the story of a man trying to bury his shadow and finding that over every sod of earth he put in the grave he had dug for it, it only appeared again, so that it could never be buried. Such is the case of a person who tries to bury his thoughts. One must therefore attempt to get at the very bottom from which thought springs and root out thought, mind and desire.

D: When I spent an hour or two on the hill yonder, I sometimes found even better peace than here, which suggests that a solitary place is after all more conducive to mind-control.

B: True, but if you had stayed there for an hour longer, you would have found that place too not giving you the calm of which you speak. Control the mind and even Hell will be Heaven to you. All other talk of solitude, living in a forest etc., is mere prattle. ^[1]

D: If solitude and abandonment of home were not required, where then was the necessity for Sri Bhagavan to come here in his seventeenth year?

B: If the same force that took this (meaning himself) here, should take you also out of your home by all means let it, but there is no use of your deserting your home by an effort of your own. Your duty lies in practice, continuous practice of Self-enquiry.

D: Is it not necessary to seek the company of the wise (the Saints and Sages)?

B: Yes; but the best sat-sangam is inhering in your “Self”. It is also the real guhavasam (living in the cave). Dwelling in the cave is retiring into your “Self ”. Association with the wise will certainly help a great deal.

D: I appear to get the same stillness of thought by tracing the root of the mantra which I repeat, as I would, if I put the “Who am I?” enquiry. Is there any harm in my continuing the mantra in this manner or is it essential I should only use “Who am I?”

B: No; you can trace the root of any thought or mantra and continue to do so till you have an answer to your query.

D: What is the effect of japas or mantras?

B: Diversion; the mind is a channel, a swift current of thoughts and a mantra is a bund or dam put up in the way of this current to divert the water to where it is needed.

D: Some time, after the stillness of thought intervened, I used to hear first some sound resembling that which one would hear if he were in the midst of or near a rolling mill, and then, a little later, a sound like that of a steam-engine whistle. This was only during meditation when I was at home, but here the sound is heard at all times, irrespective of whether I am before you or am walking round the ashram. (Note: The present experience is that the sound is like that of a humming bee).

B: Ask who hears the sound. Repeat the question now and then.

Control of Mind Versus Destruction of Mind

.....

Dream, Sleep and Samadhi

D: How can one control dreams?

B: One who can control them during jagrat (waking state) can also control them while asleep. Dreams are only impressions which have been received in the waking state and are recalled to mind in the dream state (i.e., semi-sleeping state as distinct from deep sleep — sushupti).

Referring to what he saw in dreams, the enquirer remarked, “I could not understand what they were. There were huge figures with monkey faces in my dream.”

B: The Self is not limited; it is the mind which produces a form that is limited; that which has got dimensions is the mind and it gives rise to dimensions in others. The real limitation is in the mind. The mind is not different from the Supreme Being. A gold ornament is not gold itself, but is also not different from gold. The mind is a wonderful power, a mysterious power (shakti) of the Supreme Being. It is after the rise of the mind that God, world and jivas (individuals) appear, whereas in sleep we are not aware of any of these three. That is the mysterious power of God. but although we are not aware of these in sleep, yet we know that we existed in sleep also. On the rising of the mind we awaken from sleep. Consciousness and unconsciousness are with reference to the mind only. In the wakeful state we identify ourselves with the mind. If now we find the real Self behind the mind, then we shall not have these limitations. In the deep sleep state, what limitations were there?

D: None that I am aware of.

B: That which says I was not aware then is also the mind. In deep sleep you are one with the real Self. That which appears in the interval also disappears. The Self always remains, whether in sleep, dream or waking state. It is the substratum both of the waking state and the sleep state. The different states of dream, sleep and wakefulness are only for the mind. Trance and unconsciousness also are only for the mind; they do not affect the Self.

D: Will the Master say that there is no difference between the poet, the artist, the clerk and the engineer, etc.?

B: The difference is only in the mind: according to the predisposition of each, the differences exist. No two individuals are alike, due to vasanas. The ignorant mind is like the sensitive plate taking images of things as they appear, whereas the wise man’s mind is like a clean mirror.

D: Is the Master here?

B: Who is the Master? You think there is the Master here. You see the body of the Master, but how does the Master conceive of himself? He is the Self or Atma. He sees everybody as himself. Only if there is a world apart from him could he see a world. If the Self is identified with the world then where would be the world? There has been no creation, no destruction, no preservation. That which is, is ever the Self, the Atma. These appear according to each one’s standpoint, according to the maturity of the mind, and as you progress further and further these doubts will not arise.

That which exists is consciousness. Consciousness and existence are not different. Existence is the same as Consciousness, pure Consciousness, Absolute Consciousness. You say I am conscious of the body and so on, but pure Consciousness is beyond all this. It is Absolute Consciousness. There is no question of transition from unconsciousness to supreme pure Consciousness. Giving up these two, selfconsciousness and unconsciousness, you inhere in the natural consciousness, that is pure Consciousness.

D: It is stated that the existence of the world is false, an illusion, Maya, but we see the world day after day. How can it be false?

B: By false it is meant that the conception of the world is a superimposition on reality, as the idea of a snake is superimposed on the reality of a rope, in darkness (in ignorance). That is Maya, illusion.

D: What is Maya? Illusion?

B: Seeing ice without seeing that it is water is illusion, Maya. Therefore saying things like killing the mind or anything like that also has no meaning, for after all mind also is part and parcel of the Self. Resting in the Self or inhering in the Self is mukti, getting rid of Maya. Maya is not a separate entity. Absence of light is called darkness, so also absence of Knowledge, Illumination etc., is called ignorance, illusion or Maya.

D: What is samadhi?

B: When the mind is in communion with the Self in darkness, it is called nidra (sleep), i.e., the involution of the mind in ignorance. Involution in a conscious or wakeful state is called samadhi. Samadhi is continuous inherence in the Self in a waking state. Nidra or sleep is also inherence in the Self but in an unconscious state. In sahaja samadhi the communion is continuous.

D: What are kevala nirvikalpa samadhi and sahaja nirvikalpa samadhi?

B: The involution of the mind in the Self, but without its destruction, is kevala nirvikalpa samadhi. There are four obstacles in this, namely, vacillation of:

  i. mind
 ii. life breath or prana,
iii. body,  and
 iv. drishti.

In kevala nirvikalpa samadhi one is not free from vasanas and does not, therefore, attain mukti. Only after the samskaras have been destroyed can one attain salvation.

D: When can one practise sahaja samadhi?

B: Even from the beginning. Even though one practises kevala nirvikalpa samadhi for years together, if one has not rooted out the vasanas, he will not attain salvation.

D: People say that even a Jnani is not free from the effects of prarabdha (the matured past karma).

B: Yes; he does appear to others as if undergoing the results of his karma, eating the same as they do, sleeping and suffering from the ailments of the body. These after-effects are just like the running of the flywheel by its momentum after the engine has stopped. But the Jnani is neither affected by this nor does he think that he is experiencing the pleasures and pains thereof because he has no thought of being the doer.

The Third Visit

The writer used to have always two conflicting desires, one to visit Sri Bhagavan as frequently as possible, the other to postpone it as long as he could till he felt he had some tangible evidence of progress. In the meanwhile, however, through some agency or other, he was pushed before Him, obviously through His grace. The first time it was through his immediate superior, the second was through the telepathic command, confirmed on the same day by a letter from one of His long-standing disciples, and this time it was again an officer in Government service who suggested that he would feel it a pleasure to visit the ashram in his company, or rather an indirect suggestion to him that he had better place himself before Sri Bhagavan at an early date.

This time he took leave for fifteen days and stayed with Sri Bhagavan. Conscious of his own retrogression and want of steadfastness in his yama and niyama ^[2] he did not sit or stand before Sri Bhagavan this time, as continuously as he used to do on former occasions. Sri Bhagavan would however peep into his room in His usual rounds at about 10 a.m. and 3-30 p.m. and make various enquiries. During this time he was living on coffee and rice-cakes in the morning, one or two handfuls of plain cooked vegetables in the afternoon and a cup of milk at night. About ten days after his arrival, one fine morning, the writer was accosted by Sri Bhagavan with the following query: “Is coffee and iddly all you need in the morning?”, the obvious meaning of this remark being that there was no need for such austerity on the part of His disciples, i.e., for those who had taken to vichara (enquiry). For the further enlightenment of aspirants it might be stated here that Sri Bhagavan has often remarked that all that is required is that aspirants should take, in very moderate quantities, whatever food comes their way and not stipulate, discriminate or pick and choose in the matter of diet; that, in contrast to the claim of hatha yogis that yoga practice is necessary to ward off disease from the physical body and make it pure and healthy to help concentration etc. The enquiry method, if followed strictly as directed, with absolute one-pointedness of mind, is capable of devouring all the germs of disease wherever and whenever they arise. He would appear also to be of the view that for such an enquirer, yama and niyama will automatically come, as in His own case. He said that when He was staying in Gurumurtham for 18 months His diet was only one cup of milk-mixture for the whole day. His insistence is on continuous one-pointed enquiry and it is also apparent even to a beginner that such an enquiry, like thailadhara (unbroken flow of oil), would automatically ensure a steady asana, freedom from hunger and thirst and freedom from disease; only a beginner cannot easily obtain this state and has to contend with his vacillating tendencies.

During this visit the writer had another surprise from Sri Bhagavan. A well educated unemployed youth was regularly attending the ashram. He was so steady in his meditative posture and so continuous for hours together that some, if not all, appeared almost envious of his rapid progress. Perhaps to set our doubts at rest, Sri Bhagavan was heard to remark one day that the boy was not meditating upon God or Self, but praying to Him (Sri Ramana) for His grace to get a job and added that worldly people desirous of obtaining fulfilment of their desires should seek them where they were available and that He could not do anything for his employment. “Do I give jobs to people here? I am a sannyasi without any possession or work.” The youth who had heard most of the conversation, though he appeared outwardly oblivious to what was going on around him, acknowledged later that what Sri Bhagavan said was absolutely correct.

At the end of his stay, the writer took a trip to Tirupati, Kalahasti, etc. and Sri Bhagavan, who did not appear to look with favour on such tours by one who, for all purposes, appeared to be convinced of the efficacy of the ‘Who am I?’ enquiry method, and of the secondary value of worship of images, japas or mantras, etc., dismissed him with a simple “Yes, yes” when he took leave. This unspoken but well understood disapproval and the loftiness of His own teaching haunted the writer’s mind all through his tour of the Seven Hills, the Papavinasam Falls, Kalahasti, the Sri Vyasa Ashram, Yerpedu, the Kailasanatha Konai (Waterfalls), the Nagari Buggi Temple and waterfalls, the Tiruttani Temple and so on. Therefore, when on his way home he was again standing before Sri Bhagavan, he was quaking. But fortunately, a smiling countenance and a remark from Sri Bhagavan, that they were just then talking about him and found him in the precincts so soon after the close of the talk, consoled him not a little.

[3] “loss of awareness,” which is the result of total mental absorption into the object of concentration. see also, Ch.8.