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Sri Ramana Remiscences

G.V.Subbaramayya

Excerpts

My Reminiscences
of Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi

Intorducing Prof.G.V.Subbaramayya

Introducing Prof.G.V.Subbaramayya, an educationist, professor and poet, was one of the older devotees whose approach to Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi was exceptionally spontaneous. It was a pleasure to listen to their talk so free of constraint. There were some who trembled before Sri Bhagavan when speaking to Him. Such was His majesty.

The turning point and the greatest influence on this devotee was of course the coming into his life of Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi. Let us quote what he himself has to say about it: “The pole-star of my life is of course my gurudev Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi. At a time of distress in 1933, I was drawn to Him and the very first darshan plunged me into the ocean of peace and bliss. Ever since He has been the light of my life. He is my mother, father, guru and goal. He is my all-in-all; and in Him my little self and all its moorings were consummated and sublimated. In a word He is the embodiment of Grace. At every step in the least incidents of my life I have come to feel with a growing consciousness the guiding hand of that Divine Grace that is Sri Ramana.”

My first pilgrimage to Sri Ramanasram was on June 8th 1933. From Kancheepuram where I had accompanied my mother to attend the Brahmotsavam of Sri Varadarajaswami, I travelled alone to Tiruvannamalai. I was at that same time in great sorrow, having suffered my first bereavement the previous December, when my two-year-old son died suddenly from what the doctors could only describe as heart-failure.

For over two years I had been reading the works of Sri Bhagavan and other Ashram literature; my main interest had been literary rather than philosophical. I had been struck with wonder at the style of the Telugu Upadesa Saram which, in its simplicity, felicity and classic finish, could equal that of the greatest Telugu poet Tikkana. I had felt convinced that a Tamilian who could compose such Telugu verse must be divinely inspired and I had wanted to see him.

But my immediate quest at the time was for peace and solace. In the morning I had darshan of Sri Bhagavan in the old Hall. As our eyes met, there was a miraculous effect upon my mind. I felt as if I had plunged into a pool of peace, and with eyes shut, sat in a state of ecstasy for nearly an hour. When I regained normal consciousness, I found someone spraying the Hall to keep off insects, and Sri Bhagavan mildly objecting with a silent shake of his head.

As I now heard Sri Bhagavan saying something, I made bold to ask Him a question. “The Bhagavad Gita says that mortals cast off their worn-out bodies and acquire new bodies, just as one casts away worn-out clothes and wears new garments. How does this apply to the deaths of infants whose bodies are new and fresh?”, I asked. Sri Bhagavan promptly replied: “How do you know that the body of the dead child is not worn-out? It may not be apparent; but unless it is worn-out it will not die. That is the law of Nature.”

After nearly three years, I again visited the Ashram in the spring of 1936, this time with a note of introduction from Sri G.Sambasiva Rao Garu. As I handed the note to Sri Bhagavan, even before going through it, He gave me a knowing nod and gracious smile and said, “Why the introduction? You have come before; you are not new.” To add to my wonder, I now felt as though my dead father had come back alive; the resemblance was so striking. Lest this should be dismissed as my fancy, I might add that my cousin, Sri V.V.Narayanappa, who saw Sri Bhagavan later, observed to me, “Sri Bhagavan looks the very picture of my uncle, your father.” That settled my relationship to Sri Ramana for all time. He was not only Guru, Maharshi, Bhagavan, but my father. My approach to Sri Ramana has ever since been that of a child to its parent, quite fearless, free and familiar.

Some years ago I had been initiated into two mantras and was enjoined to repeat them a minimum number of times every day. I had been doing it punctiliously, but now after entering the Ashram, I had no mind to repeat the mantras or do any kind of formal worship. After a few days I was seized with the fear of incurring sin by failing to observe the instructions of my initiation. So I put it to Sri Bhagavan Himself, making a clean breast of my default. Sri Bhagavan smiled and said, “Just because you have done so much of japa (repetition of mantras), its merit has brought you here. Why should you now fear while enjoying the fruit of your japa?”

I had also at this time a more serious trouble. I had been practising breath-control (pranayama) as taught by Swami Ramatirtha in his works. There came a stage when I felt a terrible sensation, as though my head would crack and break into pieces, then I stopped doing it, but every day the sensation was recurring at the time of practice and the fear was growing that disaster was imminent. So, at dead of night, when Sri Bhagavan was alone, I approached him with my tale. He said laughing, “What! Again you are seized with fear! These are the usual experiences of people who do yogic exercises without the immediate guidance of a Guru, but having come to me, why should you fear?” Then Sri Bhagavan added in an undertone: “Next time you get that sensation, think of me and you will be all right.” From that moment to this, I have never felt it again, and so there has been no need to think of Sri Bhagavan on that account!

The next day at noon after all persons except me had left the Hall, an old villager approached Sri Bhagavan and complained of excruciating pain in the stomach for a long time. Sri Bhagavan turned to me and said smiling, “Look here; this man has chronic stomach ache. Instead of going to a hospital, he comes to me. Am I a doctor to cure him?” At once turning serious, Sri Bhagavan whispered to me, “Take him to the office where you will find Prasad. Give it to him.” Of course I obeyed. At the time, I felt that it was as much a boon to me as to the old man. For I had been looking askance at Prasad-offering as a superstition. So this direction of Sri Bhagavan to me was enough to cure me of my scepticism. [p.3]

Sri Bhagavan said that in the first verse Daivaratha, the author of the latter work ^[1], had described Sri Bhagavan as a “Mountaineer”, (Parvathiya) but Nayana (Sri Kavyakantha), his Guru, urged him to change it to “the son of Parvathi” (Parvatthya).....

Sri Bhagavan further informed us that Daivaratha was now living in Nepal, held in high reverence as ‘Maharshi Gajanan Sarma.’ Some time ago a visitor, it seems, asked Sri Bhagavan where Daivaratha was. Even as Sri Bhagavan was replying that his whereabouts were not known, the day’s mail was handed to Sri Bhagavan, and the very first letter was from Maharshi Gajanan Sarma of Sri Kshetram, Nepal. In it he had written that though he was so far away, he always felt that he was only at the feet of Sri Bhagavan. As if to bring home that feeling, the letter enclosed a photograph of Daivaratha with a flowing beard. Sri Bhagavan added that it struck him at the time as if Daivaratha himself appeared in person and answered the query, saying ‘Here I am’! [p.8]

Someone asked, “What is meant by saying that the world is false?” Sri Bhagavan strangely answered: “It means that the world is real” and quoted a Sanskrit verse which says, “The world seen as the world through ignorance is false, but the same world seen as Brahman through knowledge is real.” [p.10]

As I entered the Hall that summer [1937], Sri Bhagavan and attendant Madhavaswami exchanged glances and laughed. As I looked puzzled, Sri Bhagavan asked Madhavaswami to explain. The latter said, “Sri Bhagavan was preparing the ‘contents’ for your Ramana Gita and remarked that its author might himself come and fix them up. Just as Sri Bhagavan finished writing the last word, lo and behold! you appear on the scene!” Then I realised, as never before, how Sri Bhagavan’s will and not mine own brought me here. [p.13]

On October 31st 1937, my two-year old daughter Indira suffered two fits, the second more severe than the first. Suddenly she became unconscious, all vital organs stopped functioning and she seemed practically dead. The allopathic doctor declared his helplessness and advised Ayurvedic treatment. Branding between the eyebrows by an old man with his lighted tobacco-pipe made the child moan feebly and slightly revived the vital functions. Still she did not rally but lay moribund. Two ayurvedic physicians sent for, one after another, could not be found. At this crisis my eye lighted upon the picture of Sri Bhagavan, and I prostrated saying within, “O Bhagavan, all human aid having failed, you alone must save her.” Getting up, I mechanically opened the drawer, took out a telegraph form, and sent an express message praying for Sri Bhagavan’s Grace upon the child. The telegraph authorities sent word that the message would reach the Ashram at 7 p.m. Precisely at 7 p.m. both the ayurvedic physicians arrived simultaneously and Sri V. V. Narayanappa also came, put into my hands an envelope addressed to me, and said, “Here is Sri Bhagavan’s Prasad for the child.” It struck me as a miraculous response of Sri Bhagavan to my prayer. Sri Narayanappa explained that it was the Prasad which I had got for him the previous year when he had been ill, and which he had preserved in the same envelope. He felt he should make use of it for the ailing child. The two doctors consulting together treated the child and assured me that she was out of danger. That night, sleeping beside the child, I had a marvellous dream. I was in Sri Bhagavan’s Hall. Sri Bhagavan was reclining on His couch as usual. In front of Him stood a dark, fierce-looking person of gigantic stature. Sri Bhagavan with His forefinger motioned to him three times to leave the Hall. Accordingly the stranger left by the first entrance. Then Sri Bhagavan turned to me, called me near and enquired, “How is your child?” I replied, “Bhagavan, by Your Grace, she is better.” Then Sri Bhagavan said, “She will be all right, don’t fear,” and put His hand on my back. At His touch I thrilled and the dream melted. The next morning I received the following reply from the Ashram.

“Received your wire last night at 7 p.m. and it was perused by Sri Bhagavan. We assure you of Sri Bhagavan’s blessings on the child that she may recover. Pray be not anxious.”i

In reply to my letter relating the above incident and the dream, the Ashram authorities wrote: “We are very glad to note that through Sri Bhagavan’s Grace your child recovered from almost a critical state. It is Sri Bhagavan’s Grace, and indicates the mystery of the working of His benign Grace and your deep devotion.”

During Christmas, when I again visited the Ashram, I asked Sri Bhagavan what He thought on reading my telegram. He merely said, “Yes, I read your message and also noted that the clock was then striking seven.” I persisted, asking, “Sri Bhagavan, did you not think that you must do something to save the child?” Straight came Sri Bhagavan’s reply, “Even the thought to save the child is a sankalpa (will), and one who has any sankalpa is no Jnani. In fact such thinking is unnecessary. The moment the Jnani’s eye falls upon a thing, there starts a divine, automatic action which itself leads to the highest good.” The conversation was all in Telugu except the English phrase ‘divine, automatic action’ which Sri Bhagavan Himself uttered. [pp.20-22]

Someone narrated his visits to various sages in the world. All of them evoked his reverence equally. Whom to follow was the dilemma for which he sought Sri Bhagavan’s guidance. Sri Bhagavan said, “The Teachers may be many; but the teaching is the same. Follow that.” [p.27]

When someone asked, “How much sleep does a Jnani require?” Sri Bhagavan replied, “Sleep is necessary to one who thinks ‘I have risen from sleep’. But to those who are ever in changeless Sleep, what need is there for some other sleep? When the eyelids feel strained, it will do to close the eyes for a while. The three states of waking, dreaming and deep sleep are for the mind and not for the body.” [ pg.56]

On the Shashti-purti day I composed six Telugu verses on Sri Bhagavan, and, without signing my name, I inserted the paper in the day’s mail. Sri Bhagavan, as soon as His eye lighted upon the writing, looked at me with a gracious smile and after perusing them, asked me, “Where and when did you post these verses?” “From my Heart, this morning!”, I replied. Sri Bhagavan laughed, and asked me to read out the verses and also the English poems of Sri K. Vaidyanatha Iyer, a teacher and an ardent devotee. My fourth verse stated:

“The fortune of the whole universe lies in the palm of your hand, O Bhagavan. So I pray that you may take on the lives of us all, and have the greatest longevity.”

As it was being read, Sri Bhagavan shook His head and snapped His fingers as if to scout the sentiment. This acquires a prophetic significance from later happenings. It looks as though Sri Bhagavan has done just the reverse of the prayer. He seems to have cut short His physical existence to add to the length of our lives. [p.69]

Two days afterwards, Sri Jagadiswara Śāstṛi an old devotee, Sanskrit poet and scholar, was brought for Sri Bhagavan’s darshan. He had been gravely ill and had just been discharged from the town hospital. Those of us who had seen him some time before, had given up all hope, but he recovered miraculously. He now looked like a mere skeleton, and I expressed wonder how such a weak body could live and move. Sri Bhagavan smiled and said, “Yes, it looks as though some Spirit has got into the body and is conducting it!” He further informed us that it was Jagadiswara Śāstṛi who, while living on the Hill, once wrote the words Hridaya kuhara madhye (in the middle of the Heart’s cave) and not knowing what to write further, implored Sri Bhagavan to complete the verse. That was how the famous sloka came to be composed by Sri Bhagavan. From his sick-bed in the hospital, Sri Jagadiswara Śāstṛi composed a prayer to Sri Bhagavan in some Sanskrit verses one of which stated:

“If you think me worth saving, do show Grace and save me even now, O Lord! It does not befit you to reckon my sins and merits. You have the power to create and destroy the universe without any aid from others. Then why do you now deceive me by saying that the Law of karma is supreme and must work itself out?” [p.80]

On May 30, 1947, during Veda Parayanam I was struck by the Vedic description of God as ‘the Lord of Thieves’, and I composed five verses in Telugu depicting Sri Bhagavan as the Master-Thief as follows:

On reading these verses Sri Bhagavan appeared graciously amused. [p.166]