Eternal Bhagavan

The next year I wanted to go to Ramnad for Devi Puja. When sitting in the Hall in meditation, I saw, instead of Bhagavan, a little girl of about two years old. She was full of charm and splendor, intensely alert and powerful, radiating a golden brilliance. Soon the vision vanished and I saw Bhagavan again. I understood that he was the goddess I wanted to worship in Ramnad. Where was the need of a pilgrimage to a goddess when I was daily serving him from whom all gods eternally were born.

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One morning a European came on a horse carriage to the Ashram and went straight to Bhagavan. He wrote something on a piece of paper and showed it to Bhagavan. Bhagavan did not answer; instead he gazed at the stranger with unwinking eyes. The stranger was staring back at him. Then Bhagavan closed his eyes and the stranger also closed his. They stayed without moving. At mealtime the meals were served, but Bhagavan would not open his eyes. Madhavaswami, the attendant, got Bhagavan's water pot and stood ready to lead Bhagavan out of the Hall. Bhagavan would not stir. We felt afraid to go near, such was the intensity around him. His face was glowing with a strange light. The guests in the dining hall were waiting and the food before them was getting cold. Chinnaswami was talking loudly to attract Bhagavan's attention. Even vessels were banged about, but all in vain. As the clock was striking twelve, Bhagavan opened his eyes. They were glowing very brightly. Madhavaswami took up the water jug. The European got into the carriage and went away. It was the last we saw of him. We did not even get his name. Everybody was wonder struck at the great good fortune of the man to have received such immediate initiation from Bhagavan.

During those days I had a dream. A resplendent lady with a luminous face was seated by Bhagavan's side on the sofa and Bhagavan was adorning her with meticulous care. Another lady, as beautiful and full of light and splendor, was moving about the Ashram, doing all kinds of service. I asked Bhagavan how it was that he was giving so much attention to one and none to the other. Then I woke up. When I told my dream to Muruganar, he told me that it was true that an invisible being was always near Bhagavan. She was the Goddess of Salvation and Muruganar had composed several songs about her.

In the afternoon, Bhagavan, Muruganar, and I were sitting around a big brass plate, preparing sweets for the coming festival. I asked Muruganar to tell my dream to Bhagavan. When he started, Bhagavan said: "What are you, her attorney? Let her tell her dream herself." When I had finished, he added: "When I was on the hill, the lady who used to bring me food would serve a second plate by my side. When I asked whom it was for, she would answer, 'For the Mother.' She had a similar vision."

Once the Maharaja of Mysore visited the Ashram. He would not visit Bhagavan in the Hall and asked for a private interview. We were perplexed, for Bhagavan never allowed such a thing. Whatever had to be said was said in public, by letter, or in the mind. Finally, it was decided to bring the Maharaja in when Bhagavan was having his bath. The Maharaja entered the bathroom and we were all standing outside. Trays and trays of costly presents and all kinds of sweets and dainties were offered at Bhagavan's feet. For ten minutes the Maharaja just stood looking and then prostrated before Bhagavan. Tears flowing from his eyes actually made Bhagavan's feet wet. He sobbed for some time and went away.

A few days later the Maharani of Travancore also came to the Ashram. When Bhagavan was sitting alone in the dining hall after lunch, I asked him: "The Maharani was here. What did she do?"

"She asked many questions and went away."

"And the Maharaja of Mysore?"

"Oh, he is a ripe fruit," said Bhagavan, and with great felling he re-enacted the scene. We could almost see the Maharaja's eagerness, his humility and sadness. The Maharaja had told him: "They made me a Maharaja and bound me to a throne. For the sin of being born a king I lost the chance of sitting at your feet and serving in your glorious presence. I cannot stay here and I do not hope to come again. Only these few minutes are mine. I can only pray for your grace."

After some time the Ashram received a long letter from the Maharaja in his own handwriting. At the end he wanted to know where he could get the incense sticks used in the Ashram. They were Mysore incense sticks, but what could not be purchased was their fragrance when they were glowing in Bhagavan's presence.

A villager had a dream in which he was told to offer his next calf to Ramanasramam. He brought his cow and the calf to Bhagavan. The jungle around the Ashram was thick at that time and there were cheetahs. The Ashram people were perplexed and refused the offer, but the villager was taking his dream seriously and would not take the calf away. The mother cow had to remain with the calf to feed her. Finally, the cow and the calf were entrusted to a devotee in the town. The calf became the famous cow Lakshmi. She grew up and had three calves within a few years. She would come daily to the Ashram to have her meals, graze on the Ashram land, enter the Hall and sit contentedly near Bhagavan. In the evening, she would go back to the town as other women did.

Once Lakshmi came into the Hall. She was pregnant at that time. It was after lunch time when Bhagavan was reading the newspapers. Lakshmi came near and started licking the papers. Bhagavan looked up and said: "Wait a little, Lakshmi." But Lakshmi went on licking. Bhagavan laid his paper aside, put his hands behind Lakshmi's horns and his head against hers. Like this they stayed for quite a long time. I stood nearby looking at the wonderful scene. After some ten minutes or so, Bhagavan turned to me and said: "Do you know what Lakshmi is doing? She is in Samadhi."

I looked at her and tears were flowing in streams down her broad cheeks. Her breathing had stopped and her eyes were fixed on Bhagavan. After some time Bhagavan changed his position and asked: "Lakshmi, how do you feel now?" Lakshmi moved backward, as if reluctant to turn her tail towards Bhagavan, walked round the Hall and went out.

On the fourth day Lakshmi gave birth to a calf. The man with whom Lakshmi used to stay brought her with her progeny and left them in the Ashram for good. Lakshmi, with her three calves, came into the Hall and lay down by the sofa. Bhagavan saw her and said: "All these days Lakshmi had to go in the evening to the town and she was always leaving in tears. Today she is delighted for she need not go away anymore. She knows that her home is here now. We have to look after her. Look at her. With what self-assurance she has stretched herself out!"

One year I had to go to Ramnad and my train was in the evening. At noon I asked for Bhagavan's permission to leave. "Why do you ask so early?" enquired Bhagavan.

I said, "Lest I should forget to ask for it in the hurry of departure."

Bhagavan laughed and turning to Sri G. V. Subbaramaiah, remarked: "There is a sloka for it." He then recited a Sanskrit verse which runs: "O, my Lord, at the time of leaving this world I may not remember your name, so I am pleading with you now. Take charge of me at the time of my death."

In the end, I could not go that night. The next morning when I was serving the breakfast iddlies, Bhagavan said to Sri Subbaramaiah: "Look at her. She took my permission to go, but she did not ask for permission to stay."

In the early days of the Ashram, a pariah (a man of the lower caste) used to stand near the well and accompany Bhagavan whenever he would go up the hill. One day Bhagavan called him near and said: "Go on repeating 'Shiva, Shiva'." It was very unusual for an untouchable to receive this kind of initiation. He could never have secured it without Bhagavan's infinite grace. After that the man disappeared.

Once a sannyasi came and stayed in the Ashram for three weeks. On the last day he came near Bhagavan and said: "Swami, I am satisfied in every way with my stay in the Ashram. Now I pray, fill my heart." Bhagavan got up and held the sannyasin's hands. They stood thus for a long time. Then the sannyasi prostrated before Bhagavan and said: "Now I am blessed." With that he departed. Thus would Bhagavan give enlightenment with a word, a look, a touch or in deep silence.

In those days, before Bhagavan took his meals he would go around and see if all the animals, like dogs and birds, had been properly fed. Then he would go and see if the cattle were looked after well. Even iddlies had to be given to the cows and calves. Sometimes the Ashram iddlies were all eaten up by the cows and we had to send to the town for more, lest Bhagavan should reproach us for stingy cooking. Then he would see that the beggars at the Ashram gate were also fed. If there was no bean soup (rassam) ready for the beggars, to go with their rice, he would order sambar to be distributed.

During the Kartikai festival beggars from all over South India would collect at Tiruvannamalai in vast crowds and they would flock to the Ashram for an assured meal. Once they became so unruly that the attendants refused to serve them. The matter was discussed among the workers and it was decided to abandon the distribution of food to beggars. That night I had the following dream: Bhagavan's Hall was full of devotees. On the sofa appeared a small creature which gradually grew until it became a huge, bright-red horse. The horse went round the Hall, sniffing at each devotee in turn. I was afraid he would come near me, but the horse went to Bhagavan, licked him all over the body and disappeared. Bhagavan called me near and asked me not to be afraid. A divine perfume emanated from him. He said: "Don't think it is an ordinary horse. As soon as the flags are hoisted at Arunachaleshwara Temple for the Kartikai festival, gods come down to partake in the celebrations. They join the crowd and some mix with the beggars at the Ashram gate. So never stop feeding sadhus and beggars at festivals." I told the dream to Chinnaswami Swami, and that day he ordered seven measures of rice to be cooked for the beggars.

Ellam Ondre (All is One)

In our last issue we documented how Sri Bhagavan took particular interest in the study of this small Tamiḷ book, Ellam Ondre. Below are the third and fourth chapters of the six chapter text.

Chapter III - GOD

1. Who is God? God is He who has transcended all that is seen by us. If transcending this world, is there no relation between Him and this world? Not a particle here is unrelated to Him. Then what is meant by transcending the world? The world comprises us and the objects seen by us. In other words, the animate and inanimate together form the world. What shall we say of Him who created the beings and things? Of these two, we say the conscious beings to be superior. All that we can apprehend is that He belongs to the highest order of beings known to us. Our intellect cannot proceed further. Thus, our Creator is superior to us; He cannot be apprehended by our intellect; therefore His Name, Transcended Being, "Kadawul," means that He surpasses our intellect. Hence His Name is "Kadawul" - Transcended Being.

2. Can God then not be made known to us? Not quite so. In a way, He is known to us. This much of His Grace is enough for us. We have no need for all His Greatness. He has made known so much of His Greatness as will suffice to eradicate our misery. There is no reason for Him to reveal a jot more of His Power than is necessary to remedy our defects in the present state. Thus He is known according to our needs. Nay, He is in our grasp. However limitless, He is within reach of our knowledge to some extent.

3. What is it which brings Him within reach of our knowledge? That He is known as Being-Consciousness-Bliss.

Being denotes that which is imperishable, that which exists forever. Should He become nonexistent at any time, who is His Destroyer? Who created Him? Since the perishable nature of all leads to the inference that they are lorded over by One who is imperishable, this immortal Overlord is God. His imperishable nature is Being (Sat).

Now, what is Consciousness (Chit)? By Consciousness we mean knowledge. This is absolute Knowledge, and not like our erring intellectual knowledge. Irregularity or mistake cannot stain its actions. It is Knowledge, pure and simple. Frequently He teaches us saying, "Your knowledge is irregular and erring." How orderly are even the insentient objects of His creation! It is known to many how an atheist was taught a good lesson when he derided the scheme of things saying, "Why did He make the seed so small for the banyan tree which is so big?" That an insentient thing is found in good order and later becomes useful, implies a conscious agency at work. Can a simple, insentient thing do something which is possible for unfailing knowledge only? Or, can't it be done by our inadequate knowledge? No, it can never be. Therefore God is said to be Consciousness (Chit) also.

Now, what is Bliss? It is the state of being free from desire for anything. It is Peace which is ever full. Were He to desire anything, how could He be better than ourselves? How could we gain Bliss from Him? He Himself would require another being to fulfil His desires. But who would think Him to be so? The state of self-contentment is that of Bliss also. Therefore He is called Bliss (Ananda).

The three-Being, Consciousness and Bliss-are inseparable; otherwise, they would become naught individually. Hence, He is known as Being-Consciousness-Bliss (Satchitananda). Thus God remains not only transcendent but also falls within the reach of our knowledge as Being-Consciousness-Bliss.

4. He who has gained the fourth state and sees all as one, only he knows God truly as Being-Consciousness-Bliss. Words cannot express nor the ears hear how such a one is united with God; it is a matter of realization. But there are ways and means for such realization. They can be spoken of, learned and acted upon.

5. He who can be realized thus, is God. He has no name; we give Him a name. He has no form; we give Him a form. Where is the harm in doing so? What name is not His, or what form is not His? Where is the sound or form in which He is not? Therefore, in the absence of true knowledge of Him you can name Him as you please or imagine Him as of any form so to remember Him. Your hope for His Grace without any effort on your part is utterly fruitless. Should it be possible to have His Grace without any effort on your side, all would be alike; there would be no reason for any difference. He has shown us the ways and means. Make effort, reach the goal, be happy. Your idleness and selfishness make you expect His Grace without your effort. The rule for all is for you too. Do not relax your efforts. God can be realized by your effort only.

6. There is an effort which excels all others. This may, however, appear to be less effective than devotion to God with name and form. Nevertheless, this is the more efficient. It is simply the love which you extend to all beings, whether good or bad. In the absence of such love to all, your devotion to God amounts to a mere parody. Of what use are you to God? That you seek fulfilment of your desires from God without doing your duty towards the needy in the world must be attributed to your selfishness. In God's presence, there is no use for such. The workings that take place in His presence are all unselfish. Therefore, think that all the Centers are His and He is in all the Centers and thus be devoted to Him. God is truly bound by such high devotion.

7. As you go on ascribing names and forms to God and showing love to all because you have understood all names and forms to be His, your mind will gradually mature. Just as the taste improves with the ripening of a fruit, so also you will recognize the waxing of good and the waning of evil in you. As your mind matures, there will come a time when you should meet your Master. This is not to say that you go in search of him or he comes in search of you. At the right time the meeting will happen. All are moving in their own ways. Your fitness brings you together, makes you trust him, makes him teach you the right way, also makes you follow the his instructions. That is the straight way to reach God, which is to gain the fourth state. You will follow the way and reach your goal which is Being-Consciousness-Bliss, which is God.

8. The way shown by the Master is final, straight and making for unity. It is well-tried, natural, and free from pain. When you are following the way shown by the master, doubts will not arise; there will be no fear. Are not fear and doubt the characteristics of the ways of darkness? How can they meet you in the way of Truth shown by the Master? In this manner, the way will itself speak to you and say that it is the right one. In that way, there will be nothing more for you to do but to meet your Master and learn from him. That way will be familiar to you, as the Master and God have made it so. Before you, he had treaded the way. He has shown you the way and you are following him. To how many will you show the same way? And how many more will follow the same way later? Obviously fear and doubt have no place in the way of truth. When once you have taken a step forward you will step back. The master's help is only for the first step forward. You need not do anything for your master in order to have the way shown to you. Know him to be the messenger of God sent down to disclose the way to the fit who have become ripe by their own efforts in either or both the directions mentioned earlier. It is God who sends this godly messenger just when you are ripe.

9. Practice with faith in the period of ignorance is called Bhakti; the same, with knowledge, is called Jnana. Of the two divisions of Bhakti, the one is devotion to God with name and form, and the other is karma which is love for all. Of the two divisions of Jnana, the practice of the true way shown by the Master is called yoga and the resulting state is called Jnana. It is natural for all to believe in something which is not seen and then to find it. Those who do not believe can never find. Therefore, the believers will gain something sometime or other and the unbelievers never gain anything. You can believe even for the simple reason that faith in God is not harmful. Thereby you can share the good effects. This world is meant only for creating faith in you. This is the purpose of creation. Have faith and you can reach God.

10. Though you may not believe all that is said of God, believe at least "There is God." This seed is very potent in its growth. It is so mighty as to negate all else and fill all by itself. It is so almighty that you will not see anything besides God, not even yourself. Truly, God is all.

Chapter IV - Peace

1. What is peace? Although the world persists when a man is in deep sleep, does he have any cares concerning it? His mind is tranquil and refreshed. Should his mind be in the same degree calm and refreshed even when he is face to face with the world and is active therein, then there is peace.

2. Can the mind remain so even when the world confronts us? It depends upon our estimate of the world. The mind is more excited when one's own property is plundered than when another's property is similarly plundered. Of one's own things, the loss of one thing causes greater concern than those of another. Why? Because our estimate of the things is the cause of the degree of the delight or anxiety concerning them. Therefore, should one learn to regard all equally, the mind will be extremely peaceful. Or should all things be considered as our own and highly prized, then too there is no cause for pain. Why? What will a man regret? The mind which knows that universal concern is beyond its capacity, must needs become tranquil. Also when one feels that one has no claim on anything or that everything is perishable, the mind will remain cool. Thus there will be lasting peace if one looks on all as of the same value. Peace is dependent upon one's intellectual appraisals.

3. I shall now illustrate this. A man wakes up from a dream. His mind is happy or troubled according to his opinion of the things seen in the dream. But on waking, his mind remains unaffected by all the happenings in the dream; it remains the same. Why? Because, only now his mind has learned to value all the matters of the dream equally. He is not sorry for the cessation of the dream. Why? He is convinced that the dream is not everlasting and must end on waking. In the same manner, should a man be convinced that he cannot but wake up sometime from the long dream of the world, his mind will be unchanging. It is the state of freshness. This is the state of Peace.

4. This is not to say that his relation with the world will cease. Now only peace and freshness of the mind are his. His actions cannot but vary according to circumstances. The only change in him after the mind has become peaceful is this: his mind has known the truth and become unattached; therefore, it rests in peace. His actions though changeful will always be impartial. But the actions of others are changing and cannot be impartial. Thus, the coolness of the mind produces enormous good not only to himself but also to the world at large. Peace shows the way to right conduct.

5. A man walks with a lighted lamp in his hand. Can there be any hostility between the light and the ups and downs on the way? There cannot be. But light and darkness cannot be together. The light chases away darkness, it discloses the ups and downs on the way and makes the man walk carefully, whether he moves up, down, or sideways. It removes the cause of vain complaints, such as, "That snag hurt my foot" or "This hollow made me slip." Similarly, after peace is gained, the state of peace makes the man neither hate nor antagonize the world. Rather it dispels the darkness which conceals from our view the true nature of the world and its snags. In the absence of the light of Peace which enables people to adjust themselves to varying circumstances, they condemn the world as full of misery, as they would complain of the snags on the road. Therefore a man who has gained the utmost peace after knowing the whole world as a complicated dream, should not be considered either unrelated to the world or unconcerned with its activities; he alone stands in effective concord with it; only he is competent to be a man of action. Thus Peace is that which regulates one's duties.

6. The concern of a man of Peace in the actions of the world lies in rectifying them. Should he feel fear before this world, what hope of reformation can there be, especially from those who esteem it and want to possess it? They are in the grip of selfishness, blind to impartiality. To guide the blind on the way or treat the blindness of the eye, one's eyesight must itself be good. Similarly, it is for him to reform the world who has already discerned his unchanging nature from the changeful nature of the world and become peaceful. These cannot help serving the world. Why? Can anyone be so hard hearted as not to lift up a child when it slips and falls? So also for the wise ones who can rightly appraise the troubles of the world and help the people. Because he has already withdrawn himself from the mind and body the sage feels no concern under the strain of service to the world, just as the life principle does not suffer even when loaded carts pass over the corpse it has left behind (by itself). He will not shrink from work or trouble. Only truly realized peace can bestow such courage and coolness.

7. To all appearances. Peace will look poor and quite weak. But in effect, it beats all. In tenacity and courage, it surpasses all. After all, success depends on these qualities. Even if Mount Meru should topple over, the incident will hardly produce a gentle smile in the man of peace, or it will leave him unmoved. This state is helpful both for worldly and spiritual matters. True happiness in the world is his, and that happiness comes out of release from bondage. Peace means doing good to any one in any manner.

8. The obstacles to peace are several. They are meant to prove the man. When they confront us we should be wide awake and keep the delicate flower of the mind distant from even their shadows. If the flower of the mind be crushed, it will lose its fragrance, freshness and color; it will neither be useful to you, nor can it be presented to others, nor offered to God. Know that your mind is more delicate than even a blossom. By means of a peaceful mind, all your duties to yourself, to others and to God must be discharged. Let it release the same freshness throughout. All blessings for the mind are contained in Peace.

9. Unremittingly worship the God of your Self with the flower of your mind. Let the children of the mental modes watch this worship. Gradually they will learn to cast away their childish pranks and desire to delight like yourself. As they watch your Peace, they will themselves recoil from their vagaries. Continue the worship patiently. Be not led away by the vagaries of the mind. On the contrary, they should become peaceful by your peace. All must get peace.

10. I shall finish in one word: The essence of all the Vedas is "Peace."

The Journey of My Heart

Passages from the Diary of a Pilgrim to Sri Ramanasramam

January 11, 1983: In my room this afternoon, Ramaswami was once again spoke of the greatness of Self-Enquiry. "There, you have so many activities (meaning me as an individual). That is why you do not rigorously practice Self-Enquiry. But once your activities are less, the method will come to you very naturally. At that time you will be surprised at how natural and effective it is, and you will regret that you didn't take to it earlier." These words were unsettling to me. "How can I most effectively practice Sri Bhagavan's teaching?" I asked myself again and again. During meditation His Name quelled my thoughts and I felt at peace.

January 16, 1983: This morning the temple drummers awoke me at 4 a.m. and when I realized that the images of Sri Arunachaleswara and his consort were coming around the hill I quickly jumped into slacks and shawl and ran up to the road. The images wended their way through pitch blackness, illumined only by bright torches and accompanied by horn and drums. At the Ashram, offerings were made and, during the arati before the Ashram gate, I took a photo. This caught the eye of a man nearer to the offering plate than I. He motioned for the priest to come to me; he gave me the vibhuti which I received with reverence. I remembered how Bhagavan, on such an occasion, remarked, "The son is beholden to the Father," and I felt that somehow Sri Arunachaleswara, the Father, knowing my extreme need of His grace, singled me out among the hundred or so people at the roadside to receive the sacred ash.

Paul and I recorded the Vedic recitations of Kittu and Appichi[1] in Muruganar's (Paul's) room. After the taping was finished, we presented them with letters of appreciation and gifts. We read out our letters to them which described the inspiration we gain by listening to their recitation of the Vedas and the Sri Chakra Puja year after year, and how we derive from them the inspiration to carry on our lives in Sri Bhagavan's Name. Kittu spoke with such humility and sincerity: "Here we are very gratified and happy that you listen to and appreciate the Vedic recitations. There are so many here, so many sit quietly, yet we find no one who does the practice as all of you from Arunachala Ashrama do.

Kittu described how he and Appichi were boys in the first Veda Patasala founded by Major Chadwick. They would recite before Bhagavan in the Old Hall in the mornings at 5 a.m. and again in the afternoon. During the day, Bhagavan would walk out toward the goshala and the Veda Patasala and inquire after their welfare. Thus they received his grace in a personal way. When Kittu saw we had presented him with a dhoti he reminisced how each year Major Chadwick would present all the boys in the school with fresh clothes.

Appichi wished to hear us recite a few names of "Sri Lalitasahasranam." Paul and I happily obliged.

Kittu and Appichi took our leave. As they slowly walked, side by side, across the yard in front of the Old Hall I followed their path intently with my eyes and wished to always remember the image of these two humble, lifelong servants of Bhagavan.

Around 6 p.m. Kunju Swami and Natesan came to Muruganar's room to recite "Sri Arunachala Akshara Mana Malai." Kunju Swami then spoke movingly of Bhagavan and His relation with Sri Arunachala: "'Arunachala, Arunachala' repeated within Bhagavan's mind from his youth. He wrote, 'From the age of innocence it had shone within my mind that Arunachala was something of surpassing grandeur.' Sri Bhagavan's Arunachala-sphurana was the cause of his seeming absent mindedness at school. Sri Arunachala, within, was pulling his mind to the center. People say that Bhagavan had no teacher, but he himself has written, 'Making me free from faults and endowing me with virtues, accept me as Thy devotee, O Arunachala, that shinest as the Guru!' Normally, when a person receives a pencil or pen he will first write his own name. Bhagavan, however, would always write 'Arunachala' - Arunachala was his Name! Arunachala is none other than the Supreme Self. This he proclaims in "Navamanimalai" and again in "Sri Arunachala Pancharatna," verse 1: 'Although Siva is motionless He dances before the Mother (Shakti) who stands still in the Court of Chidambaram. But know that that Shakti is withdrawn into His unmoving Self and He stands in His grandeur as the towering Arunachala.' And in stanza 2, 'When one inquires into the meaning of Arunachala which is lustrous like red gold and bestows liberation, one finds that the word 'Aruna' means Sat, Chit and Ananda (existence, consciousness and bliss).'