Martin Wolff, In Memoriam

Namaskar everybody

First of all, our very heartfelt deep condolences to the sister of my heart, Billee, Alicia and Diana and all members of the Wolff family. When Mohan called yesterday and said, "Aparna, would you like to say a few words about Martin and chant something," I readily agreed. Only to realize, after that, I could never try to script something in my head, or put it down on paper. I have no script with me, I have not planned what I want to say because it is just disbelief, denial and grief that overtake any words that want to form. So, I am going to bootstrap by quoting a couple of lines from one of our dear friends, Guru Madhavan who had expressed his rememberance of Martin to Billee. After that I'm just going to close my eyes and allow the emotions to form whatever words want to flow out.

Guru had written to Billee, "We are greatful to Martin in many indescribable ways. The best the mind wants to do now, is close the eyes, tune the ears to listen to Martin's chants from the permanent collection of our hearts. That is how journeys begin for so many of us and will continue. This is what I am goinng to do now, holding your hands Billee, and joining in the grief and the love, the humility and all the inspiration that Martin stood for an you stood shoulder to shoulder right beside him. I'm just goin to let the words flow and share with you some small part of this journey, this pilgrimage on earth along with a fellow traveler, Martin Wolff, that Bhagavan so graciously blessed us to have as a fellow traveler. So, like many of you, I also saw Martin in the late 90s, early 2000s singing at various events.

Even though the first feeling was that of awe, I was lost in the greater purpose of Martin's chanting. And that continued, at every encounter, every time we sat to listen to Peter, Martin and other chanters do the veda-parayanam at the Ashrama. Once in later 2016 or 2017, I gathered enough courage and casually mentioned, "Martin, I would really like to learn to chant rudram and camakam. He said, "Sure!, let me know whenever you're ready, I'll help you." We had a few more events at the Ashrama, and one time, when iot was just Peter and Martin, Dennis, Raja and I at the shrine, I was again, like everyone else, so lost in the chanting, that I made a very ardent prayer to Bhagavan. I said, "Bhagavan, before the end of this physical journey for me on earth, I hope I get the Blessing of chanting rudram and camakam at your shrine. And Bhagavan listens!, O yes, He does listen to our prayers.

So began my journey in 2019 when I decided to have Veda Parayana. I very reluctantly... (well) dragged Raja, who with a little bit of hesitation at first, joined me; then we started our veda-parayana wwith Martin - every week on Thursday. So, right after school, when Raja returns from work, we would go to Martin's house and start our veda parayana sessions. It was not just learning from him, it was the full experience, the love, the generosity, the hospitality and, of course, the teaching.

Martin was a phenominal teacher. His pedagogy was so perfect. I had some background in devanagari and sanskrit, having studied in school and college, but it was very new to Raja. And initially I was even a little frustrated with Raja, "come on Raja, you're going to really slow me down." Martin taught me how to be really patient. He was very patient; he would go through every little phrase, helping Raja with all the pronunciations and me also. Very meticulous. Whenever needed, he would give us, the grammar lessons behind it - thus our journey began. It started January 20, 2019 and we would be there almost every Thursday. It became a very big purpose, for Raja and me. It took almost 6 to 7 months for us to get through the first anuvaka in rudram. That is how meticulous Martin was. And the journey continued, so we not only had these very soulful sessions every week, we also had some good laughs. We would talk about so many other things; days at scholl, other experiences, our neighbors, the weather, politics. It became an extension of our family, meeting.

After the pandemic started, I think soemtime around August 2020, we decided to have our sessions over zoom, which we did every Saturday. Then the third week of January of this year, we finished the enitre rudaram camakam. Martin was so happy ! It was a very big milestone for Raja and I and he shared in this happiness too! For the last two years, almost every week, Raja and I, and somnetimes Varun, sometimes my nephew, sometimes Varsha - whenever we had these sessions - it became a very consistent, a very tight family event. And it became a very large purpose of our life. Through all this veda chants, Martin will always be in our hearts - in each of the devotees hearts. He has left very, very big shoes for Raja and me to fill. With the legacy that he has left us, having taught us the entire rudram and camakam. We were really lokking foerward to chanting it together. He would say, "I just can't wait til we can all recite together." Veda chanting for us, will always be our prayer to the wider[?] Grace of Bhagavan that Martin has now merged into.

Martin has also touched our children's life. Varun, Raja and I are going to chant a small part of rudram-camakam, after which I am very boldly going to attempt to chant the mahashanti mantra that was so dear to Martin. And Martin - I shall remember not to pause at the avagraha and to aspirate at the end of the sentence and any mistake that I commit in any of the chantings today or later on is solely mine.