Bhagavan Is My Breath

Sri Arunachala Bhakta Bhagawat, founder of Sri Arunachala Ashrama in North America, was soaked in the ambrosial waters of devotion to Sri Ramana Maharshi. He continually poured out his prayers to Sri Bhagavan through the medium of the written word in flowing, soaring prose. Sitting at his typewriter, he wrote page after page of “Prayer Manuscripts” to his guru, that demonstrate unequivocally his total dedication and complete surrender to Sri Bhagavan. It has been 21 years since Bhagawat merged at the feet of Bhagavan. We remember him today by sharing his following prayer manuscript pages, a testament to his unfaltering dedication to the Sage of Arunachala.

Bhagavan is my breath. The great guru Arunachala Shiva Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi is the very basis of my existence. It is he who has brought me into this body. It is he who has carried me so far on the road to the Holy Hill of the Beacon Light. It is he who inheres in the inmost recesses of my Heart. It is he who holds me by the hand and takes me onward to abide in his holy feet. From the time this body was brought into the present existence, Bhagavan has all along been instilling in me the awareness to realize the Self. That is how all these years, whatever has happened in my life and whatever paths and roads I have been inspired to tread, I have been an instrument of his will. I know it, I feel it, I realize that nothing can move without the will of Bhagavan.

At this very moment I experience in my Heart that Bhagavan is the very breath in me, otherwise how could it be possible to subsist and survive in the midst of tests and temptations that seem to crowd upon me at all hours of waking and dreaming? The world that is seen by the average eye is a totally different world than the one into which Arunachala Ramana has led me. In the cavity of my Heart the world of Bhagavan abides all the time, and I am drawn into it to drink deep the nectar that flows from the Lord, Ramana Arunachala. Years have been growing on me and outsiders have been wondering about the direction I have taken. But who am I to unravel the riddle that seems to surround my life of devotion and dedication to Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi? Whenever the clouds of stress and strain begin to press themselves on me, I call upon Arunachala Shiva Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi, and then and there I find myself elevated to the plane beyond time and space.

Bhagavan is the greatest wealth in my life and if I could continue to cling to his lotus feet, what is there on earth that would stand in my way of Self-Realization? Bhagavan has already given me so much peace and happiness that I am always inspired to keep trudging along to the Hill of the Holy Beacon. In the light of Bhagavan's teaching, all the teachings of the world eventually merge into the Heart. Bhagavan's is the direct path and with a little practice, devotion and dedication, the deep significance of Ramana Arunachala's teaching will begin to dawn in our lives. The most essential requisite for this is the constant and regular practice as enjoined by Lord Arunachaleshwara Ramana. How can we know the taste of water without drinking it? That is the predicament of most of us who would like to be convinced of the importance of water without partaking of a few drops. The practice has to be undertaken assiduously and the result is peace and happiness.

Bhagavat at Arunachala & Evelyn

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With Bhagavan's grace and blessings I remain immersed in him most of the time. I say ‘most of the time’ and not all the time, as there are moments when ego and ignorance envelop me and I feel momentarily distracted. But no sooner the dark clouds melt away, the dazzling sun of Arunachala in my Heart begins to shine in all its splendor and glory and I awaken to the consciousness that Bhagavan is my very breath.

This is the experience that Bhagavan gives me every day. The other day an Indian devotee said, “There are thousands of people who must have seen Bhagavan in the body, but his teaching was not imbibed by all of them. Hence it is not necessary to have seen him in the body. He is present here right now.” These words carry a great deal of meaning for me, as I have all along experienced that Bhagavan did not enable me to go to Tiruvannamalai when he tenanted the body because he bestowed on me the great gift of experiencing his Presence wherever I am and whatever may be the circumstances in which I am serving my guru, God and grace, Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi.

Bhagavan brought me into this world to work out my destiny so I may be released from the shackles of births and deaths. Decades have passed and I have been trudging all these years towards the Holy Hill of Arunachala, but the Holy Hill is right in the cavity of my Heart and the more I chant and meditate, the more Bhagavan's teaching becomes a reality for me. That is why I say Bhagavan is present within me, here, there and everywhere. If we simply turn to the Self in the Heart, we shall experience peace and bliss.

But the externalization of the mind is so strong and so steeped in the mire of the sense objects that it requires a great deal of scrubbing before the stains can be washed away and the heart cleansed. This process of washing away the dirt of the mind is achieved if we withdraw our senses from external objects and focus our attention on the interior of the Heart. In the beginning, the practice may seem hard, but given time and regular practice, all inherent tendencies begin to be shed and in their place calm and quiet settle and one is able to abide in the Self.

All the splendor of life takes on an entirely different hue and the restlessness of the mind is transformed into such placidity that needs no elaboration. Once peace has settled and mind stabilized in the Heart, the river has already run its course and flowed into the sea – the sea of peace and happiness towards which the entire creation has been marching relentlessly. It is in the course of this march that we get caught up in diverse desires and objects, making it difficult for us to disentangle ourselves from the thorns and bushes and resume the march to our goal. The material objects of the world could be turned into stepping stones to achieve the goal if we realize that the Self pervades each and all animate and inanimate things on earth. We have to acquire that inner eye that sees the divine in all things and at all times. Bhagavan's grace is very necessary for the achievement of the placidity of the mind and for this we have to strive strenuously and tirelessly till the veils of ego and ignorance have lifted from our hearts and we are able to abide in peace and bliss. What could be greater than abidance of the Self in the Heart, and Bhagavan has given me that. It is now up to me to avail of the golden opportunity and keep on meditating on him in the Heart. The trials and tribulations caused by financial and family problems are there to test my mettle, but I cannot tide over these difficulties without the grace and blessings of Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi. In his infinite mercy he has taken away all the burdens from my shoulders and what is left is the inherence in him in the Heart. This is the experience that enables me to declare that Bhagavan is my breath. Bhagavan is there to look after me and help me to work out the destiny that has been ordained for the body.

How can I express what is inexpressible and indescribable ? With the passage of time I feel like having more silence than spoken words. In the company of the devoted ones, Bhagavan enables me to share his teaching, and nothing is said or even mentioned which has not been experienced by me by Bhagavan's grace. No doubt I am a wayfarer in the true sense of the term; nevertheless, Bhagavan has given me the responsibility of looking after a family. Whatever privations my family may have to suffer, I take it that everything comes from Bhagavan. He is ever kind and compassionate and we simply have to cling to him under all conditions. I am sailing on the open sea with a single raft of Bhagavan's Name and day in and day out I call upon him in the Heart to look after me so that the onslaughts of the ego and ignorance do not deflect me from the path to Arunachala. No doubt I find myself surrounded by those who look upon worldly gains as the only criterion of success. But happiness does not come from external things. Sooner or later everyone has to turn to the Heart to find a resting place for himself, and this can be done by turning to Bhagavan and carrying out his will. What is badly needed is faith in Bhagavan and he will look after our needs. Faith cannot come easily if we don't spend time in meditation and prayer. Meditation is the essential force to unlock the door of the Heart.

The path to the Self is strewn with many thorns. None can reach it without undergoing privations or penances. If the life of an aspirant were a bed of roses, would there be anyone in the world who lagged behind in one's ambition to reach the goal of Self-realization? Before a building is erected, the mason sees to it that its foundation has securely been laid so that the weight of the building is borne by it. In the same manner, the aspirant has to undergo several disciplines to lay a secure foundation. Bhagavan has handed to me the wayfarer's bowl, with which I must go into the wide world and beg for aid and assistance on the march to the Self. Since I am simply an instrument of Bhagavan's will, I should under no circumstances lose sight of my being a tool in the hands of the Lord Arunachala. So long as the name of Arunachala remains enshrined in my Heart, no amount of suffering and pain would be able to deflect me from abiding in the Holy Hill of the Beacon Light. Self-awareness at all times is the single trait which must be continually renewed, remembered and re-established in the inmost recesses of the Heart. Once this has been achieved, the divine grace descends on the devotee.

My life has been specifically meant for the service of Ramana Arunachala and for this I must strive strenuously with every breath of my life and move towards the holy peaks of the sacred Arunachala. I am filled with love and affection that flow to my Heart from the Holy Hill of the Beacon light, which is the breath that sustains me every minute of my existence. Whatever privations and penances I may have to undergo, every step is meant for my elevation to the tower of grace, glory and grandeur of Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi. I know the worldly problems are staring me in the face and pushing me away from the path to Arunachala. But I can't forget that my life is in the hands of the great guru Arunachala Sri Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi and I needn't have any fear. At this stage I am reminded of the famous couplet of the Shaivite Sage, Jnana Sambandhar. It begins thus:

   In trouble and in weakness,
   and when pain afflicts,
   I seek thy feet and worship there.

As soon as my mind thinks of Arunachala there is so much peace that I am completely absorbed in it. Whatever may be the condition of my family or finances, the very remembrance of Arunachala Ramana removes every trace of pain and suffering and fills me with indescribable peace and happiness. In such a situation how can I believe that the Lord Ramana has not been looking after me all these years? If there are privations, they are meant to burn away the dross from my life so that I would not face obstacles in reaching Arunachala. Bhagavan has been kind to me and has shown me the path which is the surest way to his holy feet.

Bhagavat on the couch in Brooklyn apt.

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Bhagavan has been kind to me and has shown me the path which is the surest way to his holy feet.

What could be a greater gift than basking in his power and glory? This wanderer and wayfarer has been singing the hymns and praises of the great guru, God and grace, Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi. In sheer joy I feel as light and gay as a bird; springing and sparkling like the mountain stream; brilliant and bright like the sea; sagacious and sanguine like the early dawn; green and gracious like the rain-washed grass; beaming, blooming and blossoming like a rose ; and hospitable and humble like the dust of the devotees' feet. I feel completely inebriated with the wine of my devotion to the Lord Ramana's Holy Feet. I am submerged in that ocean of illumination and irradiation which has no room for darkness. I am saturated to the nth degree with Bhagavan's holy name and the sail of my lifeboat is set for Arunachala. I live in Bhagavan, think Bhagavan, dream in Bhagavan, sleep in Bhagavan, work in Bhagavan, eat in Bhagavan, breathe in Bhagavan and exist in Bhagavan.

If we simply concentrate our attention on the inhalation and exhalation of our breath regularly for a few minutes daily, we shall find ourselves committed to the practice of meditation in the Heart. This is why it is called the Direct Path. What is required is for the aspirant to meditate in the Heart by watching the incoming and outgoing of the breath. When we chant a prayer or repeat a mantra loudly, we should watch the source of the sound and soon it would become clear that the sound rises from the Heart and with constant practice the sound takes us to the Heart and peace and bliss flow into our lives. This is the simple method which could easily be adopted by anyone, anywhere. The mind begins to abide in the Heart and the ego is automatically rooted out. Bhagavan's teaching is so simple and direct that it does not involve the arduous task of reading a library of books just to find the source of our existence.

Some of the spiritual seekers who had originally come to Tiruvannamalai to pursue their spiritual practices under the guidance of Bhagavan, through force of circumstances, had to take up the kitchen responsibility. On the whole, these people were quite content with the situation because they considered it a privilege to cook the food that Bhagavan partook.

However, they could not help feeling envious of those devotees who were fortunate enough to spend all their time in meditation in Bhagavan's presence, with easy access to his guidance and advice. At times, the kitchen staff felt quite frustrated at their confinement to the kitchen. Bhagavan was aware of this. Being the very embodiment of compassion, he found a way to satisfy the longings of the kitchen staff. He made it a point to visit the kitchen on his way to the cowshed, and would often spend a fair amount of time talking to the cooks and helpers. He would give instructions and suggestions; at times, he would even assist the cooks in their work. Sometimes, Bhagavan would take a portion of some item and taste it. Then he would distribute a little of it among the others, and ask for their opinions. Oh what bliss to be offered something directly from the sacred hands of the Master!

Whenever something went wrong in the kitchen, Bhagavan would set it right. Once, the cooks were perplexed when they found that the dhal, in spite of boiling for an unusually long period, just could not be made soft enough to mash. (In South Indian cooking, dhal is an important ingredient of many dishes. For example, ‘sambar’ requires that well-cooked dhal is added to the vegetables boiled in tamarind water.) Understandably, the cooks were becoming quite desperate because the delay in preparing the dhal would mean a delay in getting the meal ready. Bhagavan entered the kitchen just then. Taking in the situation, he said to the cook, “Add some salt to the dhal.” The cook protested, saying, “Dhal only becomes harder if salt is added to it before it is fully cooked.” Bhagavan did not waste any time in further talk. He simply scooped up a handful of salt from the container and sprinkled it over the boiling dhal. Within minutes, the dhal was a soft, mushy mixture, ready to be mixed with the other ingredients!

Everyone was amazed because the common belief is that the addition of salt interferes with the process of cooking and delays the softening up of dhal.

On another occasion, Bhagavan found that the sambar had too much salt in it. He instructed the cook to shape cooked rice into a big ball, flatten it a little and drop it into the boiling hot sambar. Bhagavan told the kitchen staff that the rice would absorb the excess salt and the sambar was exceptionally delicious that day!

Varanasi Subbulakshmi used to say, “When you looked at Bhagavan reclining on the sofa in the meditation hall surrounded by his devotees, you were reminded of Lord Krishna holding court in Mathura. While Bhagavan was in the kitchen however, he was like Lord Krishna in Gokulam, sporting with the simple cowherd folk.”

Bhagavan entered the kitchen very early in the morning while most of the devotees were still asleep, and completed the tasks like cutting the vegetables and grinding spices and chutneys.

One morning, Bhagavan was preparing to grind the coconut chutney to be served with the iddlies at breakfast time. Anticipating Bhagavan's actions, Muruganar darted forward and took hold of the vertical stone that rotates within the cavity of the circular grinding stone. Muruganar started rotating the vertical stone while Bhagavan settled down opposite and slowly pushed the coconut and other ingredients into the gap.

While this activity was going on, Bhagavan was talking about the early days. He said, “While we were staying on the Hill, Mother often remarked that a grinding stone would be a big help. I invariably replied that once a grinding stone was acquired, some other appliance would appear indispensable, and there would be no end to such requirements. I used to tell Mother that by acquiring one object after the other, we will only bind ourselves much more tightly to this earthly life.” Bhagavan's voice had a mesmeric effect upon Muruganar. Though his hands continued their mechanical activity, his mind was far away. He did not even notice that the chutney was ready; he just continued to rotate the stone. To catch his attention, Bhagavan splashed some water onto his face under the pretext of sprinkling water over the chutney. Even then, Muruganar did not recognise the situation. He assumed that Bhagavan was sprinkling water on the ingredients and some of the water had accidentally splashed into his eyes. So he just wiped his face with a towel and continued with his activity.

At that point, Bhagavan exclaimed, “What is this? Can't you see that the task is done? Why persist with the grinding when the chutney is ready?” ^[2]

Only then did Muruganar realise what was happening. Muruganar's devotion to Bhagavan was so total that when Bhagavan was speaking, his attention got riveted upon Bhagavan's words, and he became oblivious to everything else around him. He had to be jolted back to reality by Bhagavan himself. Such incidents reveal the intimacy of the Master and the devotee. Is it not wonderful that Bhagavan should engage himself in such delightful sport with his devotees!

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The play Nandanar was written by Gopal Krishna Bharati in the 19th Century. In it, the protagonist, Nandanar, one of the sixty-three Saivite saints, sings plaintively, “Aiye, mettak kaṭinam, umadaḍimai aiye mettak kaṭinam” (It is very difficult, very difficult indeed... being your bonded servant.) Sri Muruganar, Bhagavan’s great devotee, adapted this in the composition “Atma Vidya” to read, “Aiye, ati sulabam, anma viddai, aiye, ati sulabam.” (Lo! Very easy is Self-Knowledge. Lo! Very easy indeed.) This was the pallavi (refrain) of the composition, and the anupallavi (sub-refrain) composed by Sri Bhagavan, stated that the Self is indeed so real that compared to it, a fruit in one’s hand appears unreal! This was composed in 1927.

The origin of this work is given in Day by Day with Bhagavan, from the conversation of 26-2-46:

Next the talk drifted to the Self being pratyaksha (self-evident) and Bhagavan then related how the song Atma Vidya was composed. He said, “Any vidya is for the purpose of knowing something. If it is so self-evident as to render the well-known classical example of hastamalakam or a gooseberry on the palm a false analogy, as Muruganar had put it, where was the need for Atma Vidya, whether you call it easy or not? What Muruganar meant to say was: ‘In the classical example, a hand is necessary, a hand that will and can feel a fruit on it, a fruit, an eye that can see, a person that has already known what fruit it is, and so on and so forth. But for knowing the Self, nothing at all except the Self is needed.’ In sleep, for instance, nothing at all exists for us except ourselves and we admit we existed during that sleep. On waking we say, ‘I slept’ and none of us believes there are two ‘I’s, the one that slept and the one that is awake now. In the classical example, all these must exist to make the fruit self-evident. All these depend on or derive from the Self and make the fruit self-evident. How much more self-evident must the Self itself be? Anyhow, there it was; Muruganar had written the pallavi and anupallavi and wanted the charanams. He said he could not possibly complete the song, as somehow no more lines would come to him, and so requested me to complete it. Thereupon I wrote this song. First I wrote only one stanza or charanam, but Muruganar wanted at least four; thereupon I made three more. Finally, I recollected I had not made any mention of Annamalai and so made a fifth charanam also and made mention of Annamalai in it, as Ponnambalam is mentioned in the stanzas of the song in the Nandanar story on which our song is modelled.”

Bhagavan answers questions about “Atma Vidya” in a discussion recorded in Talks With Ramana Maharshi, 2nd April, 1937,Talk 379:

One Tirumalpad of Nilambur, a Malayali gentleman, asked Sri Bhagavan for an explanation of “Atma Vidya” (Knowledge of the Self.)

M.: Sri Bhagavan explained this short piece of 5 stanzas as follows:

Chidambaram is the famous place of pilgrimage associated with Nandanar who sang that Atma Vidya is most difficult of attainment. Muruganar (a long-standing devotee of Sri Bhagavan) began, however, that Atma Vidya is the easiest of attainments. ‘Ayye atisulabham’ is the burden of the song. In explanation of this extraordinary statement, he argued that Atma being the Self is eternally obvious even to the least of men. The original statement and the subsequent reasoning are incompatible because there need be no attainment if the Self is the substratum of all selves and so obvious too. Naturally he could not pursue the theme further and laid the first four lines composed by him before Sri Bhagavan for completion.

Sri Bhagavan admitted the truth of the disciple’s statement and pointed out why the Self, though obvious, is yet hidden. It is the identity of the Self with the body, etc.

D.: How did the wrong identity arise?

M.: Due to thoughts. If these thoughts are put an end

to, the real Self should shine forth of itself.

D.: How are these thoughts to be ended?

M.: Find out their basis. All of them are strung on the single ‘I-thought’. Quell it; all others are quashed. Moreover there is no use knowing all except the Self.

If the Self is known all others become known. Hence, is Self-Realisation the primary and sole duty of man.

D.: How to quell the ‘I-thought’?

M.: If its source is sought it does not arise, and thus it is quelled.

D.: Where and how to find it?

M.: It is in fact the consciousness which enables individuals to function in different ways. Pure Consciousness is the Self. All that is required to realise the Self is to “Be still.”

D.: What can be easier than that?

M.: So Atma vidya is the easiest of attainment.

The text of “Atma Vidya” is given below. The recitation of this work by Sri J.Jayaraman is available on (Anma Viddai). The Tamil text and transliteration are also included.

Atma Vidya

Refrain: Lo, Very easy indeed is Self-Knowledge! Lo! Very easy indeed!

Sub-refrain: Even for the most infirm, so real is the Self that compared with it, the amlak fruit in one’s hand appears as a mere illusion. (Refrain)

1. True, strong, fresh, forever stands the Self. From it, in truth, springs the phantom body and phantom world. When this delusion is destroyed and not a speck remains, the Sun of the Self shines bright and real in the vast Heart-expanse. Darkness dies, afflictions end, and bliss wells up. (Refrain)

2. The thought ‘I am the body’ is the thread on which various thoughts are strung together. Enquiring within, ask, ‘Who am I?’ and ‘Whence is thought?’All other thoughts vanish. And as ‘I-am-I’ within the Heart Cave, the Self shines of its own accord. Such Self-awareness is the only heaven, stillness, and the abode of bliss. (Refrain)

3. Of what avail is knowing things other than the Self? And the Self being known, what other thing is there to know? That one light that shines as many selves, see this Self within as awareness’ lightning-flash, the play of grace, the ego’s death, the blossoming of bliss. (Refrain)

4. For loosening karma’s bonds and ending births, this path is easier than all other paths. Abide in stillness without any stir of tongue, mind, or body. And behold the effulgence of the Self within, the experience of eternity, absence of all fear, the vast ocean of bliss. (Refrain)

5. Annamalai the Self, the eye behind the eye of mind, which sees the eye and all the other senses, which knows the sky and other elements, the being which contains, reveals, perceives the inner sky that shines within the Heart. When the mind free of thought turns inward, Annamalai appears as my own Self. True grace is needed. Love is added. Bliss wells up. (Refrain)

I am that Reality [Brahman] which is bliss, which is eternal, effulgent, all-pervasive, the substratum of names and forms, which is not cognised by the impure intellect but is cognised by the pure intellect, stainless and boundless. That is to say, when one discards the individual being [jiva] of the form of ego-sense [ahamkara], which is the apparent meaning of the word 'I', what remains merely as the effulgent and conscious Self [Atman], which is the implied meaning of the word 'I', is Brahman. This can also be understood from the following words of Arunagirinathar's experience: “After swallowing me who had the form of 'I' [ego], that Supreme Being remained as mere Self.”

The noble aspirant for liberation whose mind has become pure and one-pointed by the cessation of evil thoughts, as a result of the motiveless acts and meditations performed by him in his former lives, and who is subject only to the defect of the concealing power [avarana shakti] in the form of ignorance of the Self, and who possesses the qualifications of discrimination and dispassion and virtues like self-control and yearning for liberation, being unable to endure the miseries of samsara, approaches the Satguru who is compassionate, who has realised the meaning of Vedanta and who is established in Brahman [Reality], and, after prostrating before him with fear and reverence, questions him thus:

Disciple: Swami, what are the means of putting an end to the miseries of samsara like birth and death and of attaining Supreme bliss?

Guru: Oh, Disciple! What a delusion! You are always of the nature of bliss. There is not the least trace of the miseries of samsara in you. Therefore do not take upon yourself the miseries of birth, etc. You are the conscious Brahman which is free from birth and death.

— From Jewel Garland of Enquiry
(Vichara Manimalai), translated by Sri Ramana Maharshi

Bhagavan on the Holy Hill of the Beacon Light

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Advent At Arunachala Celebrations

Please join us on September 5th , 2021 for the celebration of the 125th Advent at Arunachala Day. This day commemorates Sri Ramana's arrival at Arunachala on September 1st, 1896. The function will be broadcast from Arunachala Ashrama in New York from 6:30 a.m. to 9 p.m. EST and will include presentations by Ramana Satsang groups from the USA, Canada and the UK. The program will be streamed on