Bhagavan's Ubiquitous Grace

Comal Venkata Subramanian

click to see a larger image

I have been immeasurably blessed to converse with, and receive the periodic darshan of Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi from January 1940 up to His Mahanirvana in April 1950. My mother, Srimati Rajammal Venkataraman, was an ardent devotee of Sri Bhagavan from her early years, continually chanting Bhagavan’s namasankirtanas, and was deeply involved in her devotion. It was due to the Grace of Bhagavan, and my mother’s immense bhakti that the seed of devotion was implanted in me too.

In the late 1930’s and early 1940’s, World War II afflicted the administration and economy of British-ruled India. I was in my 18th year, my professional interests inclined towards aeronautical systems and I was able to make use of the civil aviation training programs in the Air Force battalions. During one of the training sessions, the battalion chief informed us that there was a need to serve for the ongoing World War. After my decision to participate, I was allowed a week leave to visit my mother. When I told her of my decision to enter into combat, she was instantly worried that she might lose me in the war. She resolutely said, “Only if Bhagavan permits, may you proceed.” Coincidentally, our years of yearning to have the darshan of Sri Bhagavan was finally realized with the help of one of our family friends based in Tanjore. My mother, brother, and I were ecstatic to learn that we were actually to receive and comprehend in person, the manifest grace of Sri Bhagavan.

The First Darshan

We reached Tiruvannamalai at the dawn of January 14 th 1940 (the Makarasankranti day) and took a bullock cart ride to the ashram. During this ride, my mother was utterly absorbed in thoughts of Bhagavan and she consistently chanted his name while I was repeating “Om Namo Bhagavathe Sri Ramanaya.”

At Sri Ramanasramam, after our bath, we assembled at the meditation hall for the darshan. Both my mother and I experienced the sense of being very near to the God’s abode. There were about 10 people in the room, including Sri Devaraja Mudaliar and Sri Muruganar whose names were unknown to me then. Bhagavan, accompanied by two attendants entered the room, honouring us with his omnipresent smile. The instant I saw him all thoughts vanished from my mind and I was sucked completely into his ocean of grace. We stood and offered our pranaams. Seated on his couch he extended his grace to all who were present in the room with His smile while looking at everyone. We prostrated in front of Bhagavan. He made very kind inquiries about us and asked whether we had had breakfast. One could easily see the respect, love, and humility with which Bhagavan made his enquires. I longed to ask him the multiple questions that flooded my mind. But Bhagavan answered these questions even prior to my asking either through silence or while answering someone else’s query. Bhagavan periodically glanced at us as we sat there in silence extending his grace through his smile. I felt a powerful beam emanating from his eyes, which directly penetrated my forehead. It was sheer bliss. My whereabouts were forgotten. I could think of nothing but Bhagavan. (I had this experience consistently during all of my future visits). Only when the ashram bell rang for lunch did we know that time had passed: such was the effect in the supreme presence of Bhagavan.

Bhagavan instructed everyone in the hall to proceed to the dining hall. Bhagavan was very particular that visitors should have prasad. Lunch was served and Bhagavan made sure that everyone was served with equality. I had an opportunity to be seated near Sri Bhagavan and I noticed he immediately mixed all the items served on the leaf and then ate. I could clearly feel that in this ashram ‘Everyone is equal under this roof’.

Bhagavan and His Friends

After the lunch, Bhagavan proceeded to meet his friends. The first one among them was Mother Lakshmi, the Ashram holy cow. In the Goshala (cow-shed), Mother Lakshmi immediately knew that her master was coming and she started running towards Bhagavan. She started licking Bhagavan’s feet to convey her love and respect. I was delighted to view this vivacious scene. Bhagavan enquired of Lakshmi if she had eaten with respectful words such as “Ennama? Ennama..... Saaptiyaama?” (What mother, What? Have you eaten?) The respect that Bhagavan gave to Lakshmi initiated a significant feeling within me.

After feeding Lakshmi, when Bhagavan started back to the hall, and a monkey holding her baby jumped from the trees in order to convey its love and respect to Bhagavan. Bhagavan talked affectionately to the monkey and its baby and fed them some bananas.

After he entered the hall, a group of squirrels assembled near the window. Bhagavan treated them like children offering them some almonds and cashew nuts, and enquiring about them in colloquial Tamiḷ. It was a treat to observe Bhagavan treating all, animals and humans, respectfully and with equality and humility.

Communication of my decision to Bhagavan

During the second day of our visit at the Ashram, I along with my mother stepped forward to seek His permission and blessings about my war participation. My mother initiated the matter. Bhagavan was then reading the local news daily and once hearing us said, “You appear very weary, do not think now, go and take some rest.” We promptly obeyed those words.

Similarly, in another attempt on the third day, Bhagavan listened but did not immediately respond. He just gazed at the person in question. After a few minutes, He said, “Poi Giripradakshinam pannitu vaangolen” (Why don’t you go and perform the pradakshina of Arunachala). We immediately acknowledged Bhagavan’s words and left and walked round Arunachala, girivala.

Since my leave was granted just for a week, on the fourth day we decided to get Bhagavan’s permission before going. We were also still anxious to know Bhagavan’s order in regard to me taking part in the war. When we went and stood before Bhagavan, he enquired of us very humbly and with great affection how we were. We sought His blessings before leaving and added a note about my participation in the war. Bhagavan, gave an effervescent smile, and said “Besha pannungo,” (of course; certainly do) basically giving me an unreserved go-ahead. His smile continued to transmit grace on us. I felt as if I was having the darshan of the Sun-God Himself, Lord Surya. We prostrated and left for Tirupati and Chidambaram to receive the darshan of our presiding deities.

Bhagavan’s Grace for my visits to His Abode

Since my first visit, by the Grace of Bhagavan, I have continued to be blessed by visits to the Ashram for at least 3 days, once every three months in a year. The proof of Bhagavan’s Grace became visible in every aspect of my life. For instance, in the year 1942, the whole city of Madras was practically evacuated, and, on official duty I was posted to serve with the British in the areas of Lahore, Ambala, and Karachi (then a part of pre-independent India). In that tough duty regime getting leave was a near impossibility. I have known many of my colleagues mercilessly denied permission for days off even in the case of family tragedies. In that severe situation I was desperate to receive Bhagavan’s darshan so I once made up my mind to chance it and petition for a week leave to visit Sri Ramanasramam. Before entering my commander’s office, I meditated for a minute on Bhagavan. On seeing my petition, the commander, Mr. Small, put a chirpy smile on his face and immediately approved it without saying a word. I was jubilant and attributed the happening immediately to Bhagavan’s recurrent grace.

Similarly, during another rigorous regimen when I was studying for an aircraft engineering-maintenance license, all applicants were subjected to a grilling six-hour mock interview on technical matters. By the Grace of Bhagavan I was exempted from those exams and could come out, in less than twenty minutes and was licensed with flying colours much to the surprise of all of my colleagues and commanders. This very grace still prevails over me.

Bhagavan and Cinema

Around 1945, during one of my subsequent visits to the Ashram, one Parsi gentleman who ran the Wellington Talkies cinema based in Madras, brought with him a projector and cinema screen, in order to show some devotional movies to entertain Bhagavan and His devotees in the Ashram. Three popular movies namely “Nandanaar,” “Meera,” and “Manikkavacakar” were shown in the dining hall. Everyone in the audience, especially Bhagavan, enjoyed the shows. Bhagavan highlighted some significant scenes to children who were sitting beside him and added notes to certain important scenes, such as when the Nayanmars were immersed in bhakti and attained Siva-Moksha. It was a thoroughly enjoyable experience for us sitting beside Bhagavan.

Bhagavan’s Blanket Protection

One night, armed with a sharpshooter rifle I was once required to perform guard duty in the jungles of the Rawalpindi area to protect the camp from enemies and wild animals. The night became scarier with the howling of jackals and hyenas. And I thought, ‘What a contrast this situation is to being with Bhagavan’. I recollected sitting in front of Bhagavan, accumulating His grace, visualizing His smile. I imagined asking Bhagavan “When will you take me out of this place? When will you grant me your darshan again? I was so fortunate to be in your presence but why do I have to suffer here in this wild jungle?’” Saying this I glanced at the full moon (Purnima). It was the glance of my lifetime. In the moon, smiling down on me Bhagavan gave me his darshan. Bhagavan re-energized me with that darshan. From that moment, I knew no fear and I see Bhagavan smiling and gracing me every time I see a full moon. Bhagavan has always protected me like a security blanket.

The Grace on the Deepam day

One Karthika Deepam evening, we all assembled outside the hall and sat in front of the Holy Arunachala hill waiting to see the Deepam on the top. Bhagavan was sitting facing us, his back towards the mountain, in absolute stillness with His eyes closed. Right at the moment when the Deepam was about to be lit, Bhagavan opened His eyes and turned round to see it. During that time, I could see Bhagavan radiating intense luminosity as powerful as the Deepam on the Arunachala itself. I immediately prostrated before him for granting me such a darshan and obtained his blessings.

Keep my feet in your Heart

On another occasion, when visiting Bhagavan, having dropped all my belongings in the guest room I was waiting to receive his darshan. Bhagavan was just returning from his walk on the hill. I went to prostrate in front of Him, when he said, “These physical feet are perishable. Keep permanently within your Heart my true feet.” By His Grace, I felt immense bhakti within and tears of joy started trickling down my chin. Bhagavan’s feet will reside in my Heart eternally.

The week before Mahanirvana

In the year 1950, when we heard Bhagavan was ailing, we decided to have his darshan. Once the news about Bhagavan’s ill health spread, devotees and others swarmed to the Ashram from all over the world. We stood in a long line waiting to pass by Bhagavan to have his darshan. When we neared him, we could see that he had lost immense energy and was physically fading. But his smile remained the same. He continued to emit grace on everyone. That was the last time I saw the physical body of Bhagavan but I don’t feel any difference due to his physical absence. He remains in my life even at this very moment. His smile and Grace still rule me.

Present Age

In 1996, my mother attained His lotus feet at the age of 97. Even in her last moments, she was continuously chanting His name as indeed she did throughout most of her life. Somehow though now too in my old age, Bhagavan has never allowed me to suffer pain. I attribute this to the effect of the supreme light that emanated from Bhagavan and my long devotion to him.

Citations